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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development #minutes
It is becoming increasingly common
for working
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to work
show examples
 or
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 from
home
 since technology has become more accessible and affordable. Some
people
 think that
this
 situation
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 development.
On the contrary
, I believe that
this
 trend could lead to various drawbacks for the following reasons. On the one hand, working remotely might be efficient yet it
decrease
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decreases
show examples
 physical social interaction between human beings. As a social creature, socialization plays a significant role in human life in order to survive.
Therefore
, it is important for
people
 to maintain their interaction
between
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with
show examples
 each other. Offices or schools
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 where the relation begin but when the situation is shifted public
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not interact in the same way anymore, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease
of
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in
show examples
 social skills.
Furthermore
, the lack of social skills could be harmful for children since they are still in their developing age and socialization is important for their brain development.
On the other hand
,
people
 who are working remotely could have a vulnerable body because there are lack of physical activities.
For instance
,
people
 who work in
office
Correct article usage
an office
show examples
 more or less must perform some physical action since they need to mobile from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 to their workplace. By staying at
home
, workers tend to sit in front of their
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and do not move at all.
This
 circumstance
lead
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leads
show examples
 to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several negative health conditions,
such
 as scoliosis. The same thing goes
to
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for
show examples
 students. Students, either children or teenagers, are required to be active.
However
, if they study from
home
, they would lose the experience of doing physical education or other
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
To sum up
, the method of remote working or studying provides several drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the social and physical condition of employees or students.
Therefore
, I remain convinced that
this
 is a negative development.
Submitted by someonewhodwells on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction clearly states your stance on the topic and try to maintain a balance in your argument by discussing both views if the prompt allows it.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more detailed explanations and include clear, specific examples to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Create better logical flow and clarity between ideas and paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to structure your essay. Each main idea should be in a separate paragraph with a clear topic sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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