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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

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Correct article usage
a
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 number of people who are dealing with health issues tend to use alternative medication and treatments rather than seeing their usual physician. I think the development of alternative aids is beneficial for all humans because consuming tablet medicines is sometimes harmful or may cause side effects on people's bodies. In the following
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paragraphs
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 I will explain both sides of the argument and give detailed information.
Firstly
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, the growing numbers of consuming herbal medicines under
doctor
Use synonyms
 supervision have many advantages in terms of using only organic species.
For instance
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, there are many illnesses that can not recovered by tablets,
Hence
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, many individuals apply herbal aid or other therapies. For many decades folks have searched for healthy cure styles and these treatment resources have been used by many patients.
Furthermore
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, from my point of view, under specialist control humans may apply alternative remedies for health recovery. On the other side, The effects of herbal cures may not be useful all the time. For that reason, before applying for secondary treatment every individual should seek to
doctor
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.
Otherwise
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, the public may get serious damage to their bodies.
For example
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, there are many poisoned herbs in the environment which can be poisoned when they are used by the crowd.
Therefore
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, seeking a
doctor
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 is an undeniable fact for society
instead
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 of applying any therapy by themselves.
To sum up
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, being healthy is crucial for every person but applying the wrong method can be harmful.
Therefore
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, Even though there are many benefits of applying old herbal methods again and again every person should visit their
doctor
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
In terms of Task Achievement, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, the response is not fully developed. The arguments presented are somewhat relevant, but they lack depth and specific, substantiated examples. To improve, you should aim to delve deeper into the topic by providing specific examples that clearly align with your arguments. This demonstrates an understanding of the subject and the ability to explore its complexities. Furthermore, make sure that the response directly addresses the question, considering both sides of the argument when necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Regarding Coherence and Cohesion, the essay shows a basic logical structure with an introduction and conclusion present. However, some paragraphs are not as well-developed as they could be, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. To enhance your score in this area, focus on creating clear, logical connections between your ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure that paragraphs have a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Also, check that your introduction and conclusion are fully coherent with the body of your essay, mirroring the main points appropriately.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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