A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter 1. Explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum 2. Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful 3. Give details of when you would be available for work

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Dear Sir, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter in reference to a vacancy I saw in the Daily newspaper, and would like to be considered for the job you are hiring. Beginning with my education, I am a student at London University. First and foremost, my degree is in historical studies.

Hence

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this

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job would be a perfect opportunity for me to enhance my knowledge about the historical items that are available in the

museum

Use synonyms

Moreover

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, working at the

museum

Use synonyms

would allow me to develop contacts with the state authorities which would be useful for the university research.

Furthermore

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, as a part of my course, I need to do an internship, so

this

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is a perfect opportunity.

Although

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my interest is based on history, I do have experience in marketing and

compering

Correct your spelling

comparing

show examples

as well.

Therefore

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, during visitors' time, I could do the role of a guide explaining to them the items that are shown in the

museum

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, and

also

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assist in designing any marketing campaigns which would contribute to an increase in the ticket revenue of the

museum

Use synonyms

However

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, I would be available only for 3 days a week because of the University lectures. To be specific on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but if there are any urgent requirements, I would be able to make alterations to the schedule, subject to my study commitment. I am looking forward to hearing from you, and if you need any

further

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information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Yours faithfully, Isuru Bandara

isuru.cimaThu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific aspect of the application. Nevertheless, the logical sequencing can be enhanced to ensure the flow of ideas is even more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use the correct salutation and complimentary close for a formal letter. 'Yours faithfully' is correctly used with 'Dear Sir,' but it is usually better to try and use the recipient's name, if known.

coherence cohesion

Although you made an effort to mention different points in each paragraph, the connections between the paragraphs can be made stronger by using cohesive devices and transition words.

task achievement

While you addressed the main tasks, detail on the 'when' you could work was limited. Be more specific about your availability to avoid ambiguity.

task achievement

The letter's tone was mostly formal and suitable for the context of volunteering and aligns with the task requirement. However, be cautious of informal phrases and be consistently formal throughout.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Enthusiastic
Volunteer
Part-time
Unpaid work
Museum director
Skills and qualities
Customer service
Organization
Team player
Flexible
Reliable
Positive attitude
Availability
Professional goals
Community contribution
References

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or exercise class. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?