Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Several students who just graduated from high

school

Use synonyms

prefer to get a gap year before starting the next academic journey again. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why

this

Linking Words

trend occurred and the drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

choice. After 12 years of studying in

school

Use synonyms

, some of the high

school

Use synonyms

graduates try to get another

experienced

Replace the word

experience

show examples

rather than going to university.

This

Linking Words

movement happened because students don't have an adequate amount of money to pay university fees and prefer to work in order to support their families financially first.

Moreover

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, some jobs

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

require a bachelor's degree,

therefore

Linking Words

a high

school

Use synonyms

graduate certificate is enough for them to work. After they have enough savings, they could start to pursue their

education

Use synonyms

bachelor's

Correct article usage

a bachelor's

show examples

degree to get a bigger opportunity and salaries. To illustrate, in Indonesia, some students did not continue to higher level

education

Use synonyms

because

Add the preposition

because of

show examples

economic issues.

Therefore

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, they prefer to work to earn some money.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

practice sometimes faces several disadvantages. The gap year may lead to problems,

such

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as the age being too old to start

education

Use synonyms

in some universities, on the grounds that some universities have a maximum age to enter.

Moreover

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, the student already left their

education

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for years, so they may experience some difficulties

while

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learning at universities.

Hence

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, they should pay more attention and start to learn from basics, so they are not left behind.

For instance

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, for a person who left academic activities for years and working, the ability to think and focus may be decreased.

Thus

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, they should train it gradually to their mind more able to focus again. In conclusion, the reasons for gap year could be because of lack of financial support. I,

therefore

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, remain firmly convinced that

this

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practice may lead to several demerits

such

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as age limitation and difficulties when starting to study again.

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Jan 12, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Develop a clearer and more logically structured response. Ensure your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are interconnected and your ideas progress naturally from one to the other.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphing effectively, with a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to present the main idea, followed by supporting sentences to develop that idea, and a concluding sentence that rounds off the argument.

task achievement

Complete the task by fully responding to all parts of the prompt. Ensure that you clearly state reasons for the trend of taking a gap year and discuss specific examples of disadvantages to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Illustrate your points with clear, specific examples. Avoid vague statements and generalizations, and provide concrete evidence to back up your claims, increasing the overall relevance and impact of your answer.

task achievement

Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes to the overall purpose of your response. Strive to express clear, comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the questions asked in the task prompt.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their tralning. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.