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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Television sports program shows such Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree include examples in your answer and provide your owns opinion.

#television #sports #program #olympic #source #motivation #youths #exercise
the olympic progrmas for motivation who is do not like exercise . i will compire beetwen the advangee and disadvantge the advantge points is :
firstly
 if they watch sports program of course they will motivated for practce sports and do exercise .
for example
 if you watch a football
team
 with your family everyday you will
love
 that
team
 because you watched all the time , and that will make you
love
 playing football or any another sport.
secondly
 maybe they will go and visit the next olympic because they
love
 it and the will make them happy watching the sport they
love
 inside the stadumi in any country like rome or london and that will make the olympic more famous. the disadvange points : at first if alot of
people
 goes to the stadumi that will make a rush and crowed in place around the stadumi. and
people
 will get disappionted because of the rush and the small place thy are in .
secondly
 maybe they will be angry if the
team
 they support lose and that will make them sad and nervious and ther is alot of examples on that alot of
people
 died because of the
team
 they support loses or didnt won the derby match
however
 you have to be calme and dont became angry and sad that easy because of you football or basketball
team
. finaly in my opinion , they have to do that step and encourdge
people
 for doing exercise that will make them more heallthy and in good shape
Submitted by yazannasir_9 on

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linguistic
Work on spelling and grammatical accuracy to enhance the clarity of your writing.
coherence
Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.
task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence
Break your ideas into distinct paragraphs to improve readability.
task response
The essay attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task response
There are clear efforts to provide examples, which helps in illustrating points more concretely.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pinnacle of athletic achievement
  • Inspire youths
  • Set personal fitness goals
  • Pique interest
  • Physical activities
  • Appealing
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Motivational tool
  • Incorporate exercise
  • Relatable stories
  • Overcoming obstacles
  • Active lifestyle
  • Supportive environments
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