IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays many people believe that vegetarianism is a great way to take care of
one
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's health and protect the planet.
Therefore
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, an increasing number of individuals have decided to stop consuming
meat
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 and fish. In
this
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 essay, I will outline why I assume that
this
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 trend might be significantly beneficial for both- humans and the Earth. There are several reasons why vegetarianism might have a positive impact on
one
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's well-being.
To begin
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 with, cutting down on
meat
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 is associated with an increase in the number and variety of vegetables in
one
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's diet, and those are undoubtedly noteworthy sources of vitamins.
In addition
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, consuming more vegetables guarantees greater reliability in terms of production than
meat
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 or fish, as nowadays it is hardly impossible to find a certain producer of
meat
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, which does not overfeed
animals
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 with antibiotics. As far as the world, as a whole, and the environment is concerned, some positive aspects of vegetarianism can be seen as well. The most noteworthy is an attempt to slow down the extinction of
animals
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. It is well-known that nowadays an increasing number of species of
animals
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 disappear because of people's
behavior
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behaviour
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.
This
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 statement was confirmed by the latest Harvard University studies which revealed that humans' actions are a prime reason for the extermination of creatures
such
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 as goats or salmon.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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 decreasing the consumption of
meat
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 is an appropriate way of safely protecting the planet.
To conclude
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, I am convinced that a plant-based diet might play a vital role not only in
one
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's
overall
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 well-being, as a great dose of vitamins is provided through the vegetables, but it can
also
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 contribute positively to the environment's safety because it decelerates the extinction of the
animals
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.

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task achievement
Ensure complete response to the task by addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree thoroughly. Your essay partly addresses this but could benefit from a clearer stance and a more explicit discussion of the opposing viewpoint for balance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother and signposting language could be used more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While you have provided some supporting points for your argument, try to include more specific examples and data to strengthen your main points and add credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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