The chart below show the the information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010.
the line graph provides information on gym
membership
Use synonyms
that
consisting Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
of female
female
and Fix the agreement mistake
females
male
between the Fix the agreement mistake
males
Use synonyms
year
1980 and 2010. Fix the agreement mistake
years
Overall
, in the Linking Words
year
mentioned, it shows that the number of people having Use synonyms
membership
is fluctuating Use synonyms
while
the male dominates Linking Words
gym
by possessing the Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
membership
.
First of all, men showed Use synonyms
fluctuating
trend in having gym Add an article
a fluctuating
the fluctuating
membership
from 1980 to 2010 with several notable changes in 1995 Use synonyms
where
the male Correct word choice
when
membership
Use synonyms
was
dropped to Unnecessary verb
apply
slighly
less than 1.900 but reached its peak in 2005 with 5.000 Correct your spelling
slightly
Use synonyms
membership
recorded before eventually Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
had
Wrong verb form
having
sharp
drop in 2010.
Add an article
a sharp
Meanwhile
different Add a comma
Meanwhile,
trend
happened to women with more steady changes. Starting from 1980 the line kept rising from 1000 Fix the agreement mistake
trends
Use synonyms
membership
to Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
all time
high in Add a hyphen
all-time
Use synonyms
year
1995 slightly below 3.000 before encountered Change the article
the year
significant
decrease back in the Correct article usage
a significant
year
2000 and performed fluctuation over again for the rest of the data presented.Use synonyms
Submitted by imsarunn on
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words membership, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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