In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for the government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is thought that the issue of age has raised countless controversies. Many

people

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say that countries with an increasing number of old

citizens

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are suffering severely from a burden,

while

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others believe that

this

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development may bring about some

benefits

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in society. I would argue that there are far more

benefits

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, which will be discussed in the paragraphs below. On the one hand, a major disadvantage is that old

people

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will affect the issue of budget deficit through subsidies in monetary, insurance, facilities, and infrastructure, ... For illustration,

according to

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the law in Vietnam elderly

people

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, especially those who are over sixty years old, are given subsidies by the authority. In fact, many countries in the world will rectify the problem in insurance that free-of-charge cure and the construction of nursing homes for elderly

people

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Consequently

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, the government must increase the tax on

citizens

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to take care of the old

people

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. Plus, they need to build policies leading to the consumption of human resources.

On the other hand

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, elderly

people

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bring more

benefits

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and translate in some cases

such

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as creating strategy in the sector military and hard skills, seeing that old

people

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have experience in the past, they can use their skills to serve the country. Another essential point to consider is that old

people

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can make job opportunities that resolve the unemployment of young

people

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For instance

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, some countries in the world have a lack of human resources in health care services for old

citizens

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, which facilitates a prospective career for young

citizens

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This

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will help the young improve their bread-and-butter situation and increase income.

Therefore

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, that the government accommodates the elderly

people

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will bring many

benefits

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to society and the community. To sum it up, despite the potential disadvantages that an

aging

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ageing

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population brings, I believe

this

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phenomenon should be considered to have more significant advantages for the well-being of society, the economy, and politics. What actually matters would be the government should look very far enough ahead to put appropriate policies as both the young and

aging

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ageing

show examples

populations appear to be temporary.

jakelong16091994Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the essay provides a logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs need clearer topic sentences that directly address the points being made. Examples provided should be more relevant and extensively explained to support the main points.

task achievement

You have adequately responded to the task by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population. However, the response would benefit from more detailed examples and a more thorough exploration of how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Further development of ideas is needed for a higher score.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Ageing population
Pension systems
Healthcare demand
Workforce demographics
Life expectancy
Economic productivity
Intergenerational relationships
Cultural heritage
Social services
Government spending
Skills gap
Public services
Cultural enrichment
Seniority advantage
Elder care
Demographic shift

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