Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, poverty in developing
countries
is unfortunately a very common incident. I believe that states with good economic situations and advanced infrastructure have to help
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
like India. Often poor land
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
poor because of
problems
inside the country,
politicians
Correct word choice
and politicians
show examples
. Sometimes, all these
problems
are interrelated and if a country has
problems
with overpopulation
then
they will have
problems
with the economy and after that with
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Firstly
, I believe that just financial aid will not help
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
solve all
problems
. Some lands have poverty
problems
caused by not enough educational level, many kids in
countries
like that do not know what is school. I think that not just other
countries
have to help,
also
Correct word choice
but also
show examples
organisations kind
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
UNESCO and the United Nations. These companies have a really big impact on the educational and cultural sphere worldwide. They should build just one or two schools per city in poor
countries
and
this
will be a big step toward a better future for those
countries
.
Secondly
,
also
i believe that these lands have issues with health
for example
they do not have hospitals or doctors. In my opinion, worldwide organisations have to solve
problems
like
this
one because they have enough money, people and influence for other
countries
. In conclusion , the most
importand
Correct your spelling
important
is to help
firstly
to nations, to people and just after that to governments.
However
, now people have advanced technologies to do everything online, so everybody who has a credit card can donate money to world organisations which will make our world better and healthier for all of us.
Submitted by sofia.varvus on

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task achievement
Your introduction should more directly address the prompt by stating if you agree or disagree with the assertion that developed countries should provide non-financial aid rather than financial assistance.
task achievement
The body paragraphs should contain clear topic sentences that relate to the main idea introduced in the essay, as well as specific examples that support your stance.
task achievement
Ensure that you develop your arguments fully by explaining how and why non-financial aid can be more beneficial than financial aid, thereby directly addressing the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transitions can help clarify the relationships between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a more clear and coherent structure. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and all sentences should contribute to that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, lexical phrases) to improve the readability and organization of your essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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