Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, poverty in developing
countries
is unfortunately a very common incident. I believe that states with good economic situations and advanced infrastructure have to help region
like India. Often poor land Fix the agreement mistake
regions
are
poor because of Change the verb form
is
problems
inside the country, politicians
. Sometimes, all these Correct word choice
and politicians
problems
are interrelated and if a country has problems
with overpopulation then
they will have problems
with the economy and after that with government
.
Add an article
the government
Firstly
, I believe that just financial aid will not help and
solve all Correct word choice
apply
problems
. Some lands have poverty problems
caused by not enough educational level, many kids in countries
like that do not know what is school. I think that not just other countries
have to help, also
organisations kind Correct word choice
but also
of
UNESCO and the United Nations. These companies have a really big impact on the educational and cultural sphere worldwide. They should build just one or two schools per city in poor Change preposition
as
countries
and this
will be a big step toward a better future for those countries
.
Secondly
, also
i believe that these lands have issues with health for example
they do not have hospitals or doctors. In my opinion, worldwide organisations have to solve problems
like this
one because they have enough money, people and influence for other countries
.
In conclusion , the most importand
is to help Correct your spelling
important
firstly
to nations, to people and just after that to governments. However
, now people have advanced technologies to do everything online, so everybody who has a credit card can donate money to world organisations which will make our world better and healthier for all of us.Submitted by sofia.varvus on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your introduction should more directly address the prompt by stating if you agree or disagree with the assertion that developed countries should provide non-financial aid rather than financial assistance.
task achievement
The body paragraphs should contain clear topic sentences that relate to the main idea introduced in the essay, as well as specific examples that support your stance.
task achievement
Ensure that you develop your arguments fully by explaining how and why non-financial aid can be more beneficial than financial aid, thereby directly addressing the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transitions can help clarify the relationships between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a more clear and coherent structure. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and all sentences should contribute to that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, lexical phrases) to improve the readability and organization of your essay.