Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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An array of senior high

school

Use synonyms

students are gaping a year before joining student college. They tend to look for a job

as well as

Linking Words

choose to visit all over the country. As a matter of fact, they often

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not enjoy studying at all and will follow the same routine when they go to the university.

However

Linking Words

, they still face

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks, even though they picked their own path.

This

Linking Words

essay will expand on its disadvantages, which are listed below. On the one hand, travelers waste

money

Use synonyms

and boros uang, dan tidak menghasilkan apapun.

Traveling

Change the spelling

Travelling

show examples

seems to be the most enjoyable activity that people do.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

(namun), these holidays might cost a bunch of

money

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the unpermanent residence movement. At the same time, high

school

Use synonyms

leavers who are facing their first financial independence might unbalance their

money

Use synonyms

matters in the future if they spend too much on vacation.

Thus

Linking Words

, people at that age have to understand how they should manage their budget.

For instance

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, the Indonesian Childhood Community has been campaigning about financial literacy since early childhood to understand the importance of holding consumption.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, work could not be an option to spend a pupil's gap year. Based on High

School

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Magazine, high

school

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workers will pay less than

regional

Correct article usage

the regional

show examples

GDP. It

also

Linking Words

has a lower opportunity to get a proper job, which affects their living costs, and they probably lost interest in pursuing their bachelor's degree because of their hard-to-survive life. In spite of running their time, they should consider taking a supporting course to prepare for their university entrance. To illustrate, student leavers who well prepare for college have a higher probability of being accepted than those who are

bussy

Correct your spelling

busy

show examples

spending their work.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I reiterate that neither

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

nor working are the best options for gaping the next level of study. It lacks financial handling

due to

Linking Words

not only wasting the budget by tripling

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

young adults could save extra

money

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due to

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not receiving a proper salary as a young coworker.

ru.kabiru.biruFri Jan 12 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear logical structure, with some ideas not flowing naturally from one to the next. Transitions between points should be improved to ensure that the essay progresses logically and that coherent arguments are formed.

Coherence & Cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effectively constructed to establish and summarise the essay's main points. The introduction should clearly state the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should summarise the arguments made without introducing new information.

Coherence & Cohesion

Main points are somewhat supported, but the supporting details are underdeveloped or lacking in clarity. Each main point should be developed with clear, relevant examples and explanations that directly relate to the prompt.

Task Achievement

The response fulfills the task to a minimal extent. Both sides of the argument (reasons and disadvantages of taking a gap year) are addressed, but the development of ideas is lacking depth and specificity. Make sure to fully explore reasons, implications, and provide a balanced view where requested.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear and comprehensive, but they require more detailed development to effectively answer the prompt. Aim for greater clarity in presenting arguments and ensure each idea directly relates to the aspects of the question.

Task Achievement

You have attempted to include relevant examples, but they are not sufficiently specific or effectively integrated into your argument. Your examples should be directly related to the points being made and work to strengthen your overall argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. What is the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are those problems and how could they be reduced?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.