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Writing Samples
Band 7

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

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The
internet
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 has undeniably revolutionized the way
information
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 is shared and consumed, offering unprecedented access to knowledge and communication.
However
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,
this
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 transformation has
also
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 introduced several significant problems, including the leakage of personal
information
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 and the
spread
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 of
violence
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. To address these issues, enhancing online
security
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 and regulating harmful
content
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 are essential solutions. One of the most pressing concerns associated with the
internet
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 is the vulnerability of personal
information
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. With the widespread use of online platforms for banking, social networking, and communication, individuals' private data is often exposed to hacking and unauthorized access.
For instance
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, cybercriminals can exploit
security
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 loopholes in apps to steal sensitive
information
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,
such
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 as financial details and personal photos.
This
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 not only leads to financial losses but can
also
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 cause severe emotional distress. A tragic example of
this
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 is the increasing number of suicides linked to the online leakage of personal videos and fraudulent financial transactions. Another critical issue is the
internet
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's role in promoting anti-social
behavior
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behaviour
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 and
violence
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. The ease with which people can share crime-related
content
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 and inflammatory messages online contributes to the rise of aggression, particularly among young people.
This
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 issue is so severe that during politically sensitive events,
such
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 as election days, authorities in some regions temporarily disable
internet
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 access to prevent the
spread
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 of
violence
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-inciting
content
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.
This
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 demonstrates the potent impact of unregulated
information
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 on societal harmony. Despite these challenges, there are effective measures that can mitigate the negative effects of the
internet
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. One crucial solution is to enhance the
security
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 of online platforms. Governments and tech companies must collaborate to develop more secure applications that protect users' personal
information
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 from hackers.
This
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 could involve implementing stronger encryption methods, regular
security
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 updates, and more stringent verification processes.
Furthermore
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, regulating the
spread
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 of harmful
content
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 is essential. Governments should establish and enforce strict guidelines for online platforms, ensuring that
content
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 promoting
violence
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 or hate speech is swiftly identified and removed. Introducing automated systems that detect and flag
such
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content
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, combined with human oversight, can significantly reduce the
spread
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 of harmful material.
Additionally
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, introducing a reporting mechanism where users can alert authorities to dangerous
content
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 would add another layer of protection. In conclusion,
while
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 the
internet
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 has dramatically transformed the way we share and consume
information
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, it has
also
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 introduced serious issues
such
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 as the loss of privacy and the
spread
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 of
violence
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. By enhancing online
security
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 and regulating harmful
content
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, these problems can be effectively addressed, ensuring that the benefits of the
internet
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 continue to outweigh its drawbacks

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introduction
To improve further, enhance the introduction by briefly previewing the main points that will be addressed in the essay.
logical structure
Ensure each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence directly linking to the essay question, this will strengthen coherence and provide a solid structure.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both significant problems associated with the internet and offering practical solutions.
relevant specific examples
The main points are well-supported with relevant specific examples, such as the impact of cybercrime and the use of internet blackouts during sensitive events.
introduction conclusion present
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the key points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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