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Band 4

It is common aspiration among many young peopleto run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

#aspiration #peopleto #business #work #employer
Many youngsters these days are inspired to run
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
instead
 of working for some organisation. In my opinion, it is a good strategy because
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of running their own
company
 have statistically overcome
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
practive
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 of 9-5 jobs. I am going to discuss in detail and give some reasoning on how
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 services have more pros than cons.
Juvenilles
Correct your spelling
Juveniles
 these days are interested in living their life independently. And having a
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
business
 provides them
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opprtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to be more independent.
For example
,
someone
 who has his
company
Correct word choice
own company
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not answerable to anyone. They are free to make decisions and
implementing
Change the form of the verb
implement
show examples
according
Correct pronoun usage
them according
show examples
 to their own will.
Additionally
, being
self-employee
Correct article usage
a self-employee
show examples
 gives financial freedom too. Because they are not earning for
someone
 else so after all the hard work and efforts total profits and earnings
eventually
Add a missing verb
are eventually
show examples
 transacted to their own accounts. Apart from that,
business
 enlists the sense of responsibility among individuals.
On the other hand
, some people think that
business
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many disadvantages.
According to
 their point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
business
 requires a lot of input from owners and in
return
Add a comma
return,
show examples
 there is no guarantee of any
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 outcome.
For instance
,
someone
 who is working in
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
company
 knows that he will get paid either monthly or weekly based on
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
 of
contract
Add an article
the contract
show examples
 with
employer
Add an article
the employer
an employer
show examples
.
This
 is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
 many people consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a risk to leave
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 job and open their own
company
.
Although
, working for
someone
 else sometimes steals
perks
Correct article usage
the perks
show examples
 of living
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 independent life but for the sake of money folks compromise their freedom.
To conclude
, young people these days are motivated to run their own
business
 rather than working for
someone
 else. From my perspective,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of having
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
company
have outweighs
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
 its drawbacks. Because
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 feeling of living
independent
Correct article usage
an independent
show examples
 life is priceless.
Submitted by araibbutt93 on

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task achievement
Support your main points with relevant examples and details. Abstract statements should be further explained with practical, real-world examples to strengthen the argument.

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