In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centers #malls #development

Recently more people have tended to buy their needs

such

as groceries, garments, appliances, and so on, from grand shopping

malls

. The consequence of their desire for

this

kind of shopping has been presented with the closure of more local small stores day by day. In

this

letter

Add a comma

letter,

show examples

I argue the negative aspects of

this

development

, before turning to the positive ones and I believe the positive aspects are more significant than the negatives. In some individual's minds, the closure of local

shops

appears with gross changes in society.

In other words

, their claim is the positions of owners turned to employees.

However

, these changes may assume a positive first impression, we should not forget the fact that the existence of small

shops

creates competition among service providers, which is usually tailored to the needs of consumers.

For example

, in the past local

shops

due to

their owner’s authority, placed some discounts to draw more attention to their business. Needless to say, the change in folk's position from employer to employee took their power to control the prices and

this

change ended in higher costs for customers. On the flip side, by developing more shopping

malls

, the opportunities for more entertainment

besides

shopping are provided.

Moreover

, most of the shopping

malls

have been equipped with different facilities, playgrounds for kids, cinemas, and so on, to impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

consumer’s

Change noun form

consumer

show examples

welfare

besides

shopping.

Furthermore

, shopping in huge

malls

would be helpful to waste less time on shopping. They usually contain different variety of stores from groceries to different brands of attire, which help every individual to buy all the stuff without commuting between several locations.

In addition

, these

malls

are springing up with lots of new careers for society. In conclusion,

although

the

development

of big shopping centres affected lots of small local

shops

and anchored them to closure, I assume

this

development

is a positive

development

from the consumer's view.

Submitted by ali on Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good practice. However, the logical connections between ideas could be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs are well-developed with clear topic sentences.

task achievement

You have addressed the task but could provide a more balanced argument by exploring both sides of the development equally. Expand on your ideas with further explanation and show the impact of these developments in a more detailed fashion, ensuring that you offer a balanced view before drawing a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

community character
specialized products
homogenized
local economy
circulating
variety
convenient
social hubs
infrastructure
traffic congestion
pollution
energy consumption

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many poeple choose p be selfe-employed,rather than to work for a company or orgnasation. why might this be the case? what would be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The internet has made knowledge immediately available through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of the knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful Discuss both views.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+