In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centers #malls #development

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Recently more people have tended to buy their needs

such

Linking Words

as groceries, garments, appliances, and so on, from grand shopping

malls

Use synonyms

. The consequence of their desire for

this

Linking Words

kind of shopping has been presented with the closure of more local small stores day by day. In

this

Linking Words

letter

Add a comma

letter,

show examples

I argue the negative aspects of

this

Linking Words

development

Use synonyms

, before turning to the positive ones and I believe the positive aspects are more significant than the negatives. In some individual's minds, the closure of local

shops

Use synonyms

appears with gross changes in society.

In other words

Linking Words

, their claim is the positions of owners turned to employees.

However

Linking Words

, these changes may assume a positive first impression, we should not forget the fact that the existence of small

shops

Use synonyms

creates competition among service providers, which is usually tailored to the needs of consumers.

For example

Linking Words

, in the past local

shops

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their owner’s authority, placed some discounts to draw more attention to their business. Needless to say, the change in folk's position from employer to employee took their power to control the prices and

this

Linking Words

change ended in higher costs for customers. On the flip side, by developing more shopping

malls

Use synonyms

, the opportunities for more entertainment

besides

Linking Words

shopping are provided.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most of the shopping

malls

Use synonyms

have been equipped with different facilities, playgrounds for kids, cinemas, and so on, to impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

consumer’s

Change noun form

consumer

show examples

welfare

besides

Linking Words

shopping.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, shopping in huge

malls

Use synonyms

would be helpful to waste less time on shopping. They usually contain different variety of stores from groceries to different brands of attire, which help every individual to buy all the stuff without commuting between several locations.

In addition

Linking Words

, these

malls

Use synonyms

are springing up with lots of new careers for society. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

development

Use synonyms

of big shopping centres affected lots of small local

shops

Use synonyms

and anchored them to closure, I assume

this

Linking Words

development

Use synonyms

is a positive

development

Use synonyms

from the consumer's view.

Submitted by ali on Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good practice. However, the logical connections between ideas could be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs are well-developed with clear topic sentences.

task achievement

You have addressed the task but could provide a more balanced argument by exploring both sides of the development equally. Expand on your ideas with further explanation and show the impact of these developments in a more detailed fashion, ensuring that you offer a balanced view before drawing a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

community character
specialized products
homogenized
local economy
circulating
variety
convenient
social hubs
infrastructure
traffic congestion
pollution
energy consumption

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The government should control the internet to reduce cybercrime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Some cultures value elderly people more while other cultures value the youth more . Discuss both approaches and give your own opinion.

With a growing worls population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?