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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the average carbon emissions per person in four countries between 1967 and 2007

The graph shows the average carbon emissions per person in four countries between 1967 and 2007
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The line graph illustrates the mean
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide emissions per individual in the United Kingdom,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Portugal and Italy from 1967 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, Italy and Portugal reported a gradual increase in their
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprint throughout the given period,
while
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom saw a steady decrease in greenhouse gas emissions. Despite some initial fluctuations
Sweden
Use synonyms
 later saw a drop in its
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprint. The average
carbon
Use synonyms
 emitted in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 saw a steep rise from a little over 4 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1967 to slightly above 6 metric
tonne
Change to a plural noun
tonnes
show examples
 in 1977.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the incline was much more steady till 1997
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 it was just below 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 where it plateaued at
this
Linking Words
 level until 2007. Meanwhile, Portugal displayed a
uniformed
Replace the word
uniform
show examples
 soar from under 2 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1967 to less than 4 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1987. Portugal
then
Linking Words
 showed a larger incline to slightly under 6 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1997, where it remained till 2007. The United Kingdom saw minimal change throughout the decade,
however
Linking Words
, documented a continuous decline in
carbon
Use synonyms
 emissions from over 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1967 to just above 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
However
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 depicted some fluctuation. It
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 sharply in 1967 from above 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to over 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 as of 197u. Hereafter, there was a sudden drop in its greenhouse gas footprint to less than 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1987.
This
Linking Words
 decrease became more stable until 20l7
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it was reported at just under 6 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, sweden, tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • per capita
  • environmental impact
  • trend analysis
  • industrialization
  • energy consumption
  • greenhouse gases
  • sustainable development
  • emission reduction
  • technological innovation
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • economic growth
  • climate change
  • environmental policy
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