Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days,there has been a growing trend regarding
individuals
using non-conventional medicines and treatments rather than going to the doctor.I believe that it has some negative consequences
such
as causing other
health
problems
as well as
dependency.
Firstly
,non-conventional
methods
can have detrimental effects on patients'
health
.
Although
taking alternative medicines like herbal remedies can help to alleviate the symptoms of
problems
related to
health
,there is no evidence that it can create other
health
challenges or not.People who use plants for dealing with
health
problems
can have allergies to them and it can lead to other
problems
,even if it can lead to their death .
For instance
,in recent years,we can see that there have been many people who died because of the side effects of herbal remedies.
Furthermore
,even if these
methods
do not have an opposite effect on
individuals
, they can lead to
further
growth of diseases and addiction to these
methods
.Using alternative treatments and medicines can mitigate
this
problem only in the short term,and
individuals
are obliged to utilize it regularly and these
methods
cannot eradicate
this
problem fully.
Consequently
,over time,it can grow
further
and can result in grave
health
problems
.
For example
,a person who has a headache use these
methods
and alleviate it for only a few hours.After a certain time,the headache starts again and they have to take alternative medicine and in
this
case,it creates endless addiction.
However
,if
individuals
have
problems
pertaining to their
health
visits to healthcare services,doctors can solve
this
problem effectively and they can escape from long-term dependency. In conclusion,I am of the opinion that non-conventional method of remedies for
health
is a negative development and can lead to grave
health
problems
and even death.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Task Achievement
Consider a balanced approach by acknowledging potential benefits in addition to risks of alternative medicines. This can make your argument more comprehensive.
Coherence & Cohesion
To achieve a better structure, use a clearer paragraphing strategy. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples.
Task Achievement
While using examples to support your points, try to include not only hypothetical examples but also refer to research or studies to make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
Be cautious with general statements that could be perceived as overly broad or potentially inaccurate without specific evidence.
Task Achievement
Conveys a clear position throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent perspective on the subject.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion that bookend the argument well, providing a clear framework for the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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