IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In the current area,
due to
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 the rise of globalization has made people buy the same
products
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worldwidely
Correct your spelling
worldwide
.
Furthermore
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, there seems to be negative progress in current world
development
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 rather than positive progress.
This
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 essay will elaborate more
why
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on why
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 the same
product
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 can be impacted negatively to our world
development
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. On the one hand, there were several negative impacts
to
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on
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 our world since the
products
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 that we used were the same. One negative is that the
countries
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were
Verb problem
did
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 not
belonging
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belong
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 uniquely, they were no longer promoting their
uniqueness
Replace the word
unique
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product
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 to others.
For instance
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, in Indonesia, rather than buy their local
products
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, several people try to import Korea’s
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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, because they want to have the same
product
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 as their idol.
As a result
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, it
gives
Verb problem
has
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 an economic impact
to
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on
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 the local players and we cannot explore our unique
products
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.
On the other hand
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, buying similar
products
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 has some positive
development
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.
Firstly
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, the
product
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 might become a universal
product
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 and it can be used by everyone.
This
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 is because the
product
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 tries to make a single
product
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 that all
countries
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 agree to use.
For example
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, phones,
laptops
Correct word choice
and laptops
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, there are electronic
products
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 that give us the same treatment,
such
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 as the keyboard, system, utility, etc. In conclusion, despite some positive
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development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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 as a universal
product
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and
Correct word choice
that
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 can be used by everyone. The negative
development
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 of
countries
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 in becoming more similar outweighs the positive
development
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. The negative impacts are the
countries
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 not belonging to a unique country, and there is an economic impact
to
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on
show examples
 local players.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use a range of linking phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and expand upon it with supporting sentences.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay should fully address all parts of the task. Develop your main points fully and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. It's important to illustrate your ideas with clear examples, ensuring your essay is complete and provides a balanced view of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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