Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. How far do you share this view?
So important is a statement for encouraging children to have a pet that
it
would bring some possible benefit. I disagree with Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
opinion for
some extent and I will elaborate below.
Looking Change preposition
to
first,
some parents often think the decision to adopt an animal is bothersome for kids who are unready and simply have a
little sense of responsibility. It seems that Correct article usage
apply
pets
need more attention and more commitment to maintain. If a child nurtured
a pet having less awareness, it would be risky Wrong verb form
nurtures
its
homed animal Change preposition
to its
such
as
food selection Change preposition
to
fault
and famine. Fix the agreement mistake
faults
In addition
, a person as professional ves says taking an animal with fur to foster at home perhaps could cause a disease such
as asthma. Owing to having many pets
experience fur loss.
On the other hand
, the proponents argue the
little ones with a homed animal would help them to develop their knowledge about animals. In some Correct your spelling
that
cases
the owners of Add a comma
cases,
pets
could learn the anatomy and characteristics of pets
. For
example
a child could know the body part of Add a comma
example,
pets
and what its function is. Furthermore
, many of
psychologists think of the emotional support that children receive from Change preposition
apply
pets
, meaning that the child feels more secure and thus
more confident.
It is logical to conclude
that, even though homed animals could give new experiences and emotional improvement for children. I believe that it is an unwise approach for those who are less conscious and it seems could cause a few health problems for
children’s Change preposition
in
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by ir221299 on
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task achievement
You should clearly state your position throughout the essay rather than waiting until the conclusion to make your opinion known. Make your stance clear in the introduction and remain consistent throughout.
task achievement
Expand on your main ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Specific examples help to elaborate on the key points you are making and strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. This enables readers to follow your argument more easily and improves the overall readability.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is developed sufficiently with support and elaboration.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear conclusion that restates your view and summarises the main points discussed. The conclusion should mirror the opening statement in terms of the writer's position.
grammatical range and accuracy
Check the essay for grammatical errors and aim for a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
lexical resource
Use appropriate vocabulary to accurately express views and concepts. Avoid over-generalizations and strive for precision in language.
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