Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Success is a trick, and individuals often wonder if it boils down to luck.
Although
luck might have a say in some situations.
However
, it is strongly believed that hard work and good planning are the keys to real game changers. To embark on, one of the most paramount factors is efforts for achieving the target. Many fortunate persons from various fields consistently highlighted their hard work, struggle in life, staying focused and never giving up.
This
means that people who perform tirelessly towards their ambition, even face the challenges with full confidence, are more likely to achieve them. The best way to illustrate
this
is the IAS Manoj Sharma, who never gave up
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
faces
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
problems and stayed on his aim and
at the end
he groaned. Another perspective is strategic planning is the crucial factor. The journey of success can be possible when individuals set a clear goal, make plans and adopt a change.
In addition
, relying on good fortune is a risky approach, as fortune may occasionally present a good opportunity.
For example
, winning the lottery is entirely dependent on a lucky break, if you win, it can instantly change your life.
In contrast
, waiting for a lottery win
instead
of actively pursuing your dreams is not a practical or advisable strategy.
To conclude
, the aim can be achieved through hard work and consistency, persisting even after facing failure.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
luck might sprinkle a bit of magic on your journey. So, roll up your sleeves, set your goals, and effort for them that's the real recipe for success.
Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by presenting a clear stance regarding the role of luck versus hard work in achieving success. However, the scope of development for the main ideas is quite limited, which impacts the depth and persuasiveness of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could benefit greatly from more cohesive devices and clearer transitions between ideas. In order to enhance the coherence, it would be beneficial to structure paragraphs effectively, establishing a clear central idea in each, supported by detailed examples and explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: