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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone?s life . Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#part #life #people #lives
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It is undeniable that advertising Plays an earth-shaking role for businesses to sell their
products
 and services.
However
,
while
 Some
people
 believe that marketing impacts negatively everyone's life, I could agree with those who deem that It is advantageous for us.
Firstly
, advertising works like a bridge between customers and businesses, Because of that
People
 get to know about manifold
products
 and services offered by a company, which helps sellers to sell their
products
.
Secondly
,
due to
 adverts,
people
 can attain lots of information, which provides various options available to buy
things
 as per their requirements and budget.
For Instance
, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos said that marketing is a time-saver for residents, as they have to visit various shops to get desired
things
, but a clear advert helps find the right location for a product.
Nevertheless
, It is often claimed that augmenting advertising tends to Force
people
 to spend money. Businesses create ads in
such
 a way that manipulate
people
 mentally and encourage them to buy the latest
products
. Eventually,
people
 tend to spend on unnecessary
things
 which sometimes leads them into debt.
Moreover
, some advertising specifically targets children as they easily get attracted and force their Parents to Purchase
things
such
 as toys and Video games.
In addition
, research suggests that
people
 are more likely to buy
things
 whose ads feature their favourite celebrities.
For example
, the betting application Dream 11 promoted by prominent cricketer Virat Kholi, raised their revenue by 30% in 2022.
To conclude
, It is a fact that advertising affects
people
's shopping behaviour which is disadvantageous To them,
although
 It is immensely beneficial in the selection of the right
things
 with plenty of options.
Submitted by keval28598 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis; the body paragraphs should each contain a central idea with supporting details; and the conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay should display a logical flow of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases appropriately to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide clear and fully developed ideas in response to the task prompt. Extend your main points with well-developed explanations, examples, or arguments.
Language Accuracy
Check and correct spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to show language flexibility and precision.
Use of Examples
Ensure that examples are directly relevant to the argument you're making and clearly illustrate the point you're trying to convey. Avoid general statements and provide specific examples to strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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