Government should spend more money on education than sports. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should invest
money
in
education
, compared to sports. I completely agree that the government should allocate
money
to schools and
education
. It is my strong opinion that
education
will bring both economic
benefits
and social
benefits
to the respective society. Investing in students’
education
can improve society economically. If more students can enter third-level
education
,
then
they can be more skilled. If they are more skilled and educated,
then
it will lead to innovation and increased productivity.
For example
, Both South Korea and Finland invested a huge amount of
money
in the
education
system. It produced the results in the form of high-tech companies
such
as Nokia and Samsung. Still, humans are not robots who can work without breaks. So, these companies should provide leisure time to their workers.
Education
should not be constrained to economic
benefits
, it
also
has social
benefits
.
Education
empowers people to be aware of evils of the society
such
as violence, drugs, alcohol, and sexual abuse. Singapore taught its students about the dangers of drugs.
As a result
, Singapore is considered to be one of the lowest levels of drug abuse in the world. Despite
this
, sports can teach team spirit and work ethic to their students, so it improves their social skills.
To conclude
, countries should prioritize
education
over sports when budgeting.
Education
has so many socioeconomic
benefits
which improve the quality of a country. The recommendation will be that the government should fund more
money
into schools and universities to enjoy the long-term
benefits
.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are clearly connected to that central idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Fully develop your arguments in the body paragraphs to match the scope of the essay prompt more closely.
task achievement
While the essay offers relevant examples, aim to provide more detailed and specific illustrations to support your arguments, enhancing the overall impact and persuasiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion serves its purpose but could be enhanced by summarizing the key points more powerfully and presenting a more compelling final argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: