Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Music

Use synonyms

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a Vital role in each individual

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lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

own benefits as well.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe that

music

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act

Change the verb form

acts

show examples

as a tool to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

decrease

people

Use synonyms

stress

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and

anxiety

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. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

music

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has a positive impact on

people

Use synonyms

lives

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Body paragraph 1

Nowadays,

music

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servers

Replace the word

serves

show examples

as a tool to reduce

people

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stress

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level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

. Because, when

people

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got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

stressed, their body release

hormone

Fix the agreement mistake

hormones

show examples

called cortisol into the

blood stream

Correct your spelling

bloodstream

show examples

whch

Correct your spelling

which

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the

stress

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level.

Whereas

Linking Words

, when we listen to

music

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, it releases

hormone

Add an article

a hormone

show examples

called serotonin which

act

Correct subject-verb agreement

acts

show examples

as a tool to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress

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For instance

Linking Words

doctor's

Change noun form

doctors

show examples

suggest their patients to listen to

music

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who have

stress

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issue

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issues

show examples

. Because

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apply

show examples

it makes some hormonal changes and helps to cope with

stress

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in a better way.

Body paragraph 2

At the same time,

music

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also

Linking Words

helps

people

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to reduce their

anxiety

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. The main reason for

anxiety

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due to

Linking Words

one's negative

thoughts

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and cluttered

mind

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. In

this

Linking Words

case ,

music

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provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

some kind of calmness and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the

mind

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relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

which helps the

mind

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to declutter and organise the

thoughts

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better.

As a result

Linking Words

people

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can deal with

anxiety

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in a

Change the word

apply

show examples

better way.

For example

Linking Words

, studies conducted in Harvard

medical school

Correct your spelling

Medical School

show examples

reveals

Correct subject-verb agreement

reveal

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who listen to

music

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have clear

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and positive

thoughts

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rather than

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

anxious

thoughts

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and

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

Conclusion

In conclusion,

music

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play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

Change the article

show examples

essential role in

people

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lives

Use synonyms

to cope with their

anxiety

Use synonyms

and

stress

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level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

by reducing it . So, I agree that

music

Use synonyms

has a positive impact on human

lives

Use synonyms

helps

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

to lower the

stess

Correct your spelling

stress

and

anxiety

Use synonyms

insighttribez

Jan 13, 2024

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that the essay has a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly link to the main argument, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth. Aim to vary your connecting words and phrases to enhance cohesion.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, while the response is overall complete, it is essential to fully develop your ideas with clear, comprehensive explanations and specific examples. Make sure each paragraph expands on your main points distinctly, and use more detailed, illustrative examples to substantiate your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that more genetically modified food should be produced to cope with the growing population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?