Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #music #individuals #stress #anxiety

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Music

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a Vital role in each individual

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

own benefits as well.

Therefore

, some

people

believe that

music

act

Change the verb form

acts

show examples

as a tool to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

decrease

people

stress

and

anxiety

. I agree with

this

statement because

music

has a positive impact on

people

lives

. Nowadays,

music

servers

Replace the word

serves

show examples

as a tool to reduce

people

stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

. Because, when

people

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

stressed, their body release

hormone

Fix the agreement mistake

hormones

show examples

called cortisol into the

blood stream

Correct your spelling

bloodstream

show examples

whch

Correct your spelling

which

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the

stress

level.

Whereas

, when we listen to

music

, it releases

hormone

Add an article

a hormone

show examples

called serotonin which

act

Correct subject-verb agreement

acts

show examples

as a tool to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress

For instance

doctor's

Change noun form

doctors

show examples

suggest their patients to listen to

music

who have

stress

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it makes some hormonal changes and helps to cope with

stress

in a better way. At the same time,

music

also

helps

people

to reduce their

anxiety

. The main reason for

anxiety

due to

one's negative

thoughts

and cluttered

mind

. In

this

case ,

music

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

some kind of calmness and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the

mind

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

which helps the

mind

to declutter and organise the

thoughts

better.

As a result

people

can deal with

anxiety

in a

Change the word

apply

show examples

better way.

For example

, studies conducted in Harvard

medical school

Correct your spelling

Medical School

show examples

reveals

Correct subject-verb agreement

reveal

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

who listen to

music

have clear

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and positive

thoughts

rather than

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

anxious

thoughts

and

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. In conclusion,

music

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

Change the article

show examples

essential role in

people

lives

to cope with their

anxiety

and

stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

by reducing it . So, I agree that

music

has a positive impact on human

lives

helps

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

to lower the

stess

Correct your spelling

stress

and

anxiety

Submitted by insighttribez on Sat Jan 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that the essay has a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly link to the main argument, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth. Aim to vary your connecting words and phrases to enhance cohesion.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, while the response is overall complete, it is essential to fully develop your ideas with clear, comprehensive explanations and specific examples. Make sure each paragraph expands on your main points distinctly, and use more detailed, illustrative examples to substantiate your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case ? What can be done about this problems?

Nowadays a lot of people enjoy watching TV. Do you think the advantage of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantage?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

Some people think that one of the ways to solve environmental problems is to increase price of fuel fir cars and vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.