Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Music
Use synonyms
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a Vital role in each individual
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
own benefits as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that
music
Use synonyms
act
Change the verb form
acts
show examples
as a tool to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
decrease
people
Use synonyms
's
stress
Use synonyms
and
anxiety
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because
music
Use synonyms
has a positive impact on
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
music
Use synonyms
servers
Replace the word
serves
show examples
as a tool to reduce
people
Use synonyms
's
stress
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. Because, when
people
Use synonyms
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
stressed, their body release
hormone
Fix the agreement mistake
hormones
show examples
called cortisol into the
blood stream
Correct your spelling
bloodstream
show examples
whch
Correct your spelling
which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the
stress
Use synonyms
level.
Whereas
Linking Words
, when we listen to
music
Use synonyms
, it releases
hormone
Add an article
a hormone
show examples
called serotonin which
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
as a tool to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
doctor's
Change noun form
doctors
show examples
suggest their patients to listen to
music
Use synonyms
who have
stress
Use synonyms
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it makes some hormonal changes and helps to cope with
stress
Use synonyms
in a better way. At the same time,
music
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
helps
people
Use synonyms
to reduce their
anxiety
Use synonyms
. The main reason for
anxiety
Use synonyms
is
due to
Linking Words
one's negative
thoughts
Use synonyms
and cluttered
mind
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
case ,
music
Use synonyms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
some kind of calmness and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the
mind
Use synonyms
more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
which helps the
mind
Use synonyms
to declutter and organise the
thoughts
Use synonyms
better.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can deal with
anxiety
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in a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better way.
For example
Linking Words
, studies conducted in Harvard
medical school
Correct your spelling
Medical School
show examples
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who listen to
music
Use synonyms
have clear
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and positive
thoughts
Use synonyms
rather than
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
anxious
thoughts
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. In conclusion,
music
Use synonyms
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essential role in
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
to cope with their
anxiety
Use synonyms
and
stress
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
by reducing it . So, I agree that
music
Use synonyms
has a positive impact on human
lives
Use synonyms
by
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
to lower the
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
and
anxiety
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that the essay has a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly link to the main argument, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth. Aim to vary your connecting words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, while the response is overall complete, it is essential to fully develop your ideas with clear, comprehensive explanations and specific examples. Make sure each paragraph expands on your main points distinctly, and use more detailed, illustrative examples to substantiate your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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