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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual 'income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual 'income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about how many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households
 by their
income
 annually (between
lees
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
 than $25,000 - $100,000 or more) in the US in three different periods in 1007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall
, In 2007 and 2015, the number of people
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 annual
income
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
100,000 or more was the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
,
while
 that $75,000 - $99,999 saw the reverse. To commence with, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
US
households
 were having annual
income
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
100,000 or more
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the majority and served nearly 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people, by the year of 2011,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 experienced a slight increase to around 27
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 before rising to 34
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. Interestingly, a
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 trend was placed in the number of people by $75,00-$99,999
income
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
, it stood at 14
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
then
 fell slightly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2011 before going up to exactly 15
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 end of the period. It
was became
Change the verb form
became
show examples
 the least among other categories. In terms of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 remaining categories, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households
 with less than $25,000 and $25,000-$49,999 saw an increase after four years,
while
 the former stood at 25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
then
 increased to 28
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, the latter starting at 27
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and went up to 30 million. These categories
then
 saw a small drop
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each.
However
, only the number of
households
 with $50,000 - $74,999
income
 annually remained the same.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words households, income, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual income
  • households
  • income distribution
  • peak
  • rise
  • fall
  • stable
  • significant
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
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