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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information on the average cost. of a monthly plan from four defferent mabile phone providers in a European Country. between January and September 2012, measured in erous.

The chart below gives information on the average cost. of a monthly plan from four defferent mabile phone providers in a European Country. between January and September 2012, measured in erous.
The graph
down
Rephrase
below
show examples
 demonstrates facts on the range price
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 monthly
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
 from 4 different smartphone suppliers in a European country. snice January until september2012, measured in
euros
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, The range price of Alpha supplier increased significantly.
Also
Linking Words
, there was a normal increase in
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 of Demo and Lex.
While
Linking Words
 the fourth one the Sim Tx gives a decline statue. Alpha giver started the period with only 5
euros
Use synonyms
 and continued with the price until
the
Correct article usage
apply
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June with only a slight
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 between them, and
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 increase gradually in the next month and kept like
this
Linking Words
 to be
finally
Linking Words
 in the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
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25
Change preposition
of 25
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euros
Use synonyms
.Unlike that, Sim Tx began
period
Add an article
the period
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 with almost 9 and continued in a steady way to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 nearly 15
euros
Use synonyms
 in the median , following
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
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 reduction to finish with a median down
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10
euros
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rest two where steady and similar results with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slights
Fix the agreement mistake
slight
show examples
 differences , Lex
appear
Wrong verb form
appeared
show examples
 with almost 12
euros
Use synonyms
 and Kept on
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with steady
move
Fix the agreement mistake
moves
show examples
 and small up-down changes until finished with over 16
euros
Use synonyms
 in the median ,
while
Linking Words
 Demo showed up at 15 and
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 increased in dramatically way to reach 20 in May and kept like
this
Linking Words
 up to 2 months and increased again to be 25 in July but
this
Linking Words
 changed immediatly to get dropped in slight amount .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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