IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products

#process #pineapples #pineapple #products
The diagram illustrates how pineapples are planted and refined as business products.
Overall
, there a 2 main steps. starting with planting pineapples and ending with classifying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 into 3 types and each type is utilised for
a distinct purposes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a distinct purpose
distinct purposes
show examples
. In the first step, the
pineapple
 leaves are sown into
soil
Add an article
the soil
show examples
 and grown
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment which is maintained the temperature
stably
Change the word
stable
show examples
 at 23 to 30 degrees Celsius. After 7 months, the
pineapple
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
is watered
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 ethylene before it
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 to
ripe
Correct article usage
a ripe
show examples
pineapple
 in the period
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 5 months, when it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 already
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stepped to the classification stage. Following the previous step, the
pineapple
 is going to be cleaned before it is classified,
classification
Add an article
the classification
show examples
 process is done
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
 on the size of each
pineapple
.
Firstly
, with the smallest size, the crown of the
pineapple
 will be removed and peeling its peel to produce the juice through the extractor.
Submitted by Alexandre Harvey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: