With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem

Deforestation, urban
development
and illegal hunting are the arguably most significant risk factors for wiping out some animal
species
and
also
endanger a lot. To keep wide biodiversity, a good global ecosystem and
uninterrupted
Correct article usage
an uninterrupted
show examples
food chain, we must act. I think it is important to protect
animals
, which can be done in different ways. In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss those ways to deal with
this
problem. Deforestation can be man-made or natural, in both ways
forest
animals
are losing their habitat. People can adopt
animals
to support their living
although
that can be done only for unharmful
animals
. Animal shelters can be opened to provide shelter for the
animals
that are endangered.
For instance
; in
2019
Correct article usage
a 2019
show examples
forest
fire in Australia, people adopted a lot of koalas so that the
species
could be saved. Apart from that many other
species
were saved and kept in animal shelters. Urban
development
shrinks
forest
areas because of cutting
forest
trees and expanding the city areas. Tree plantation can be a good step to combat
this
problem as more plantation than cutting can save
forests
from being barren fields. In order to save
forests
,
Forest
reservations and urban
development
authorities
should work together to create a balance between urban
development
and the deforestation process.
For instance
; Bangladesh started planting trees and
also
made legislation against cutting trees to save
forests
, and saving
forests
saves its
species
. Illegal hunting has never stopped despite of relentless try of
forest
authorities
and animal reservation
authorities
of all countries. Because of their failure,
deer skin
Correct your spelling
deerskin
show examples
, elephant horn, cheetah skin, and wild cow hoof are still found in the black market. Law enforcing authority can be more vigilant on
this
matter. In conclusion, rescuing an animal is easy but rescuing an entire
species
needs contribution from different
authorities
.
Submitted by Dr.ashik776 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task only partially. It is important to fully explore all parts of the prompt, including the importance of protecting animals and detailed measures to address the problem. To improve, ensure that your essay comprehensively responds to the question by elaborating on why it is important to protect animals and by providing more specific solutions to the problem with clear explanations of how these solutions can be effective.
coherence cohesion
You have an overall clear structure to your essay with an introduction and conclusion. To excel in coherence and cohesion, make sure that each of your body paragraphs has a clear central idea and that all sentences in the paragraph relate cohesively to this central idea. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas between sentences and paragraphs effectively. Additionally, avoid repetitive sentence structures to enhance the readability of your text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: