Some people think immigrants should accept the new culture as their own. Others believe that they should keep their own culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Fix the agreement mistake
People
Person
Fix the agreement mistake
People
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
come
to know about Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
Correct article usage
apply
the
new customs and traditions after moving to Correct article usage
apply
Correct quantifier usage
another
other
country. There are two beliefs provided Fix the agreement mistake
another
that
situation. Some people Change preposition
in that
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
one
should adapt new
cultural and moral Change preposition
to new
values
after migration; however
, in
other Change preposition
apply
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
one
should not change
their way
of living. In my opinion
, people should change
their way
of life according to
the customs and moral values
of new
Add an article
a new
the new
place
. I am going to elaborate both
points of view in my forthcoming coming and Change preposition
on both
also
shed some light upon my opinion
.
First of all, every different place
or country on earth has their own culture. When person
migrates from his land to Correct article usage
a person
other country
they Change the wording
another country
other countries
faces
cultural diversity. Change the verb form
face
For instance
, folks living in Canada have different traditions and festivals as compare
to someone in Pakistan. Both their Wrong verb form
compared
values
and way
of life are different. Let's suppose, someone has made an
decision that they are moving to Canada for Change the article
a
better
lifestyle. The first thing they should do in my Add an article
a better
opinion
is to understand their societial
Correct your spelling
social
values
. After moving to new
Correct article usage
a new
place
people should indulge themselves with the heritage and intellectual values
of their new neighborhood. It is their moral responsibility to take part as much as they can in their festivals and traditions.
One
the other hand, Correct your spelling
On
second
group of individuals thinks that person should never Add an article
the second
a second
change
their cultural values
after migration. These values
are indentities
of Correct your spelling
identities
population
. Correct article usage
the population
Therefore
, few of them thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
one
might lost
his identity if they Change the verb form
lose
be lost
change
their values
. It might leads
to Change the verb form
lead
end
of Add an article
the end
an
heritage. Change the article
a
One
illustration of this
is scientist
nowadays have found the tracks of several lost civilizations from Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
past
. These groups are nowhere to be found in recent times.
From my perspective, Correct article usage
the past
one
should adjust themeselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
with
Change preposition
to
new
environment and surroundings but not forget the roots of their elders. Altering themselves Correct article usage
a new
according to
practices
of local communities will make their life easier. It will Correct article usage
the practices
also
leave a good impression among locals that new comers
respect their Correct your spelling
newcomers
way
of living. Secondly
, they might as well show interest in learning Correct article usage
the tradition
tradition
and culture of immigrants. Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
One
of the most prominent benefits one
will take according
Verb problem
apply
to
my points of view is that Change preposition
in
this
practive
will Correct your spelling
practice
practise
opens
Change the verb form
open
a new doors
of opportunities for migrants. Locals will not only Correct the article-noun agreement
new doors
a new door
welcomes
them with big Change the verb form
welcome
heart
but Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
also
guides
them on how to have a proper job in their areas.
Correct subject-verb agreement
guide
To conclude
, individuals have two opinions on immigrants whether they should accept the new culture or sticks
with their own. Both consideration have their own perks and flaws. But in my Correct subject-verb agreement
stick
opinion
, one
should definitely modify their thoughts and values
after shifting to new
Correct article usage
a new
place
regardless of how bad it may sounds
to other folks. Change the verb form
sound
Additionally
, it is important that they do not forget the history of their seniors even if they are now in a new location.Submitted by araibbutt93 on
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Structural Coherence
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, which has led to a less cohesive argument. You should consider organizing your paragraphs clearly, with distinct introductions and conclusions for each. This would involve stating your main point at the beginning of each paragraph and then expanding on it, rather than merging various ideas without clear demarcations.
Introduction and Conclusion Clarity
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are either not clear or not effectively presented. Make sure to begin your essay with a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the topics you will discuss and your thesis statement. Likewise, conclude your essay with a summary of the main points and your final thoughts, making your stance clear.
Supporting Arguments with Examples
While you have presented some main points in support of your argument, they could be strengthened with specific, relevant examples. Try to illustrate your ideas with concrete examples from real-life situations, studies, or credible sources to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Task Response Clarity
Your task response could be improved by fully addressing the prompt more consistently throughout. Make sure that your essay directly addresses the question by developing clear and comprehensive ideas that relate closely to the topic. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is explored in depth.
Idea Expression Clarity
Ideas in your essay are not always expressed clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity by defining your ideas more precisely and by using clear and direct language. Break down complex thoughts into simpler sentences if necessary to ensure your reader can follow your line of reasoning without effort.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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