Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is no denying the fact that nowadays, environmental problems
has
a huge concern. Verb problem
are
While
it is a commonly held belief that the high extinction rates of animals and plants are the most
environmental issue we need to Correct word choice
biggest
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
, there
is an argument that there are more pressing issues Change preposition
about, there
should
be solved. Correct pronoun usage
that should
This
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On on
hand, there are serious ecological Correct your spelling
one
crisis
that could threaten our life need to focus on Fix the agreement mistake
crises
rather
than losing species of animals and plants. Correct pronoun usage
them rather
In other words
, global warming, air and water pollution, and climate change have far-reaching consequences that not
always immediately apparent. Add a missing verb
are not
In addition
, widespread diseases and severe weather events have been
arisen Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
these issues. For example
, Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, complaining
of serious health problems, Wrong verb form
complains
such
as flu, pneumonia, and so on as a result
of air pollution that comes from industrial activities.
On the other hand
, a reduction in the number of species can disrupt the ecosystems. It is also
possible to say that any small alteration in the ecosystem causes a significant impact on all living beings. Moreover
, this
countless extinction drastically deteriorates biodiversity and leads to further
myriad ecological disturbances. For instance
, the extinction of bees can have serious consequences for agriculture, as bees play a vital role in pollinating crops.
In conclusion, there are no easy to answers this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that there are a diverse number of issues that threaten our planet and require urgent attention to address them.Submitted by dentdent4 on
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supported main points
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by an explanation or an example that supports that idea. The second body paragraph, while introducing an important concept (the role of bees in ecosystems), does not provide specific examples or detailed support for its importance.
logical structure
The essay's structure is generally logical, but transitions between ideas should be smoother, and the thematic links between paragraphs could be clearer. Use phrases that clearly signal the beginning of new ideas and the connections between them.
introduction conclusion present
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they can be made stronger. The introduction should more precisely paraphrase the question and set up the structure of the essay. The conclusion could better summarize the main points and present a stronger personal opinion.
complete response
Your response to the task is complete, but for a higher score, ensure that your discussion of both sides of the argument is more balanced and in-depth. Also, be sure to develop your own opinion with specific reasons and clear articulation.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas within paragraphs are clear but could be more developed with comprehensive explanations and arguments. Make sure to fully explore the implications of each point, so the reader understands your reasoning completely.
relevant specific examples
Your essay lacks specific examples to support arguments effectively. Use real-world examples or data to illustrate your points and make them more convincing and relevant.