Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the evolving landscape of
education
families increasingly find themselves at a
crossroad
Fix the agreement mistake
crossroads
show examples
: opting for
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
conditions of
home
education
or embracing the longstanding tradition of sending
children
to
school
. Some argue that teaching
children
at
home
provides an ideal environment for their development,
while
others believe that attending
school
is essential for a well-rounded
education
. I am going to discuss the advantages of each approach in
this
essay and support them with examples from personal knowledge. Homeschooling is a modern trend arising among parents who want to reduce stress related to bullying and other verbal and non-verbal abuse widespread in schools.
High stress
Add a hyphen
High-stress
show examples
levels can cause depression and anxiety and jeopardise academic results. Excluding
this
factor
together with
tailoring studying program based on individual goals and natural predispositions can bring performance to superb levels. One of my schoolmates switched to studying at
home
for the
last
2 years of the
school
. Her program was mostly concentrated on natural science subjects, like biology and chemistry, and contained close to no art and literature classes.
As a result
, that allowed her to finish 2 academic years in 1 calendar and enter medical university successfully.
On the other hand
, attending
school
can expose
children
to a diverse social environment, fostering essential skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution.
School
provides a structural setting that prepares
children
for the realities of the professional world, teaching them to adhere to the schedule and work within communities.
This
exposure to a variety of perspectives is crucial to developing a well-rounded individual. In conclusion, the debate between homeschooling and traditional schooling revolves around the tension between personalized learning and social development.
While
home
education
caters to individual needs, the traditional system provides a rich social environment. Striking a harmonious balance between these two aspects may be
optimal
Add an article
the optimal
show examples
path to nurturing well-rounded individuals prepared
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future challenges.
Submitted by mnb54ya3flc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of ideas could be further expanded with specific, detailed examples to support points made within the body paragraphs. While one example is provided, more would strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is fairly clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion present. The use of cohesive devices isn't fully realizing the potential of the essay. Consider varying your linking words and organizing ideas more effectively to ensure that paragraphs flow naturally from one to another.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and that the conclusion summarily addresses all the parts of the essay question without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Essay paragraphs could be better structured to support the main points more effectively. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by explanations or examples to substantiate this point. This would enhance the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: