The maps show the park which was built in 1920 and current construction of the park.

The maps show the park which was built in 1920 and current construction of the park.
The picture above depicts the sketch of Grange
Park
.
Two
illustrations were provided: one is the current positioning and the other was an ancient map of the same place back in 1920. As we can see, there are some distinct features between these
two
pictures. Generally, we can see tremendous development of the arena. Some amusement was added,
such
as a Children's play area and a Cafe. Some were upgraded i.e. from the fountain to the water feature, and the musician's stage became an amphitheatre for concerts.
On the contrary
,
two
entertainment were removed, which are the greenhouse and the pond. Other visible changes are the additions and centralization of the seats, gathered around the central, rounding the rose garden. Back in 1920, there were only
two
entrances from Eldon Street and Arnold Avenue.
However
, another entry was built recently that connects directly to the underground car
park
.
This
renewal made the
park
more accessible and may easily visited by the car users. The main sight of
this
park
was
also
swapped. The fountain was the star of the place
due to
its placement at the centre in the old times. Meanwhile, today, it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
been replaced by the united
two
rose gardens which were originally placed on the upper and lower
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
show examples
of
this
ground. As mentioned before, the
overall
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
has developed both structurally and functionally.
Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, two with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: