IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps show the park which was built in 1920 and current construction of the park.

The maps show the park which was built in 1920 and current construction of the park.
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The picture above depicts the sketch of Grange
Park
Use synonyms
.
Two
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 illustrations were provided: one is the current positioning and the other was an ancient map of the same place back in 1920. As we can see, there are some distinct features between these
two
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 pictures. Generally, we can see tremendous development of the arena. Some amusement was added,
such
Linking Words
 as a Children's play area and a Cafe. Some were upgraded i.e. from the fountain to the water feature, and the musician's stage became an amphitheatre for concerts.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
two
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 entertainment were removed, which are the greenhouse and the pond. Other visible changes are the additions and centralization of the seats, gathered around the central, rounding the rose garden. Back in 1920, there were only
two
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 entrances from Eldon Street and Arnold Avenue.
However
Linking Words
, another entry was built recently that connects directly to the underground car
park
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.
This
Linking Words
 renewal made the
park
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 more accessible and may easily visited by the car users. The main sight of
this
Linking Words
park
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 swapped. The fountain was the star of the place
due to
Linking Words
 its placement at the centre in the old times. Meanwhile, today, it
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 been replaced by the united
two
Use synonyms
 rose gardens which were originally placed on the upper and lower
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
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 of
this
Linking Words
 ground. As mentioned before, the
overall
Linking Words
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 has developed both structurally and functionally.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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