It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use teach good behaviur to children?

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In recent times, there has been a trend that positive reinforcements are preferable rather than providing
punishment
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to
children
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.
However
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, I strongly argue that
educators
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and parents should be allowed to use
punishment
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to teach
children
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what is the right thing to do in some situations. I assert that there would be two major cases in which
educators
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and parents may need to rely on
punishment
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, one of which is when ensuring
children
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’s safety.
For instance
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, if
children
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were to try to climb up a tree and jump from a high height, it would be crucial to stop them from doing
such
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an unsafe activity.
Similarly
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, in relation to physically hurting other peers, it would be necessary to give
punishment
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, since
children
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may not understand how much unacceptable behaviour is unless strong
punishment
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is not exerted.
Thus
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, as illustrated in two examples, committing an activity including any risks and hurting other friends should be regulated by
punishment
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.
Although
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punishment
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may involve physical abuse,
educators
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and parents should not adopt
this
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type of act, as it may traumatise
children
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, resulting in a lasting negative impact on their development. If anything,
educators
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could take their favourite toy for a certain period of time to prompt them to reflect on their acts.
Children
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would feel the significance of what they have done by not having access to it. Another possible
punishment
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would be to scold
children
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strongly but calmly.
However
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, the important point here would be to make a clear distinction between normal
punishment
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and
this
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exceptional
punishment
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by utilising facial expressions and tone of voice. In conclusion, when educating
children
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, it is imperative to exert
punishment
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under the condition that they engage in risky plays or physically hurt others to make them realise the seriousness of their acts. In order to do so, removing their toys or discussing their behaviour in a serious manner would be considered proper
punishment
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.
Submitted by artical5er7 on

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task achievement
Consider offering a clear introductory paragraph that presents not only your standpoint but also a preview of the examples you will discuss, ensuring that your opinion on the issue is directly stated in response to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a cohesive structure throughout the essay. Transitioning phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help create a more logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Support your main points with a variety of detailed and relevant examples. These examples should be explicitly linked to the main topic and help to illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay features a distinct introductory paragraph, a well-developed body that elaborates on your supporting points, and a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your views and restates your position on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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