It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use teach good behaviur to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviur

In recent times, there has been a trend that positive reinforcements are preferable rather than providing

punishment

children

However

, I strongly argue that

educators

and parents should be allowed to use

punishment

to teach

children

what is the right thing to do in some situations. I assert that there would be two major cases in which

educators

and parents may need to rely on

punishment

, one of which is when ensuring

children

’s safety.

For instance

, if

children

were to try to climb up a tree and jump from a high height, it would be crucial to stop them from doing

such

an unsafe activity.

Similarly

, in relation to physically hurting other peers, it would be necessary to give

punishment

, since

children

may not understand how much unacceptable behaviour is unless strong

punishment

is not exerted.

Thus

, as illustrated in two examples, committing an activity including any risks and hurting other friends should be regulated by

punishment

Although

punishment

may involve physical abuse,

educators

and parents should not adopt

this

type of act, as it may traumatise

children

, resulting in a lasting negative impact on their development. If anything,

educators

could take their favourite toy for a certain period of time to prompt them to reflect on their acts.

Children

would feel the significance of what they have done by not having access to it. Another possible

punishment

would be to scold

children

strongly but calmly.

However

, the important point here would be to make a clear distinction between normal

punishment

and

this

exceptional

punishment

by utilising facial expressions and tone of voice. In conclusion, when educating

children

, it is imperative to exert

punishment

under the condition that they engage in risky plays or physically hurt others to make them realise the seriousness of their acts. In order to do so, removing their toys or discussing their behaviour in a serious manner would be considered proper

punishment

Submitted by artical5er7 on Sun Jan 14 2024

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task achievement

Consider offering a clear introductory paragraph that presents not only your standpoint but also a preview of the examples you will discuss, ensuring that your opinion on the issue is directly stated in response to the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Focus on maintaining a cohesive structure throughout the essay. Transitioning phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help create a more logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Support your main points with a variety of detailed and relevant examples. These examples should be explicitly linked to the main topic and help to illustrate your arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay features a distinct introductory paragraph, a well-developed body that elaborates on your supporting points, and a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your views and restates your position on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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