Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government,while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Whilst a group of individuals contend the
contion
Correct your spelling
condition
content
that promoting the
members
of the rising generation to an executive role in
government
organization would not be a prudent decision to make, others take an adverse approach which supports the delegation of
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
positions to the young
people
. To the best of my knowledge and
experience
, having young minds pondering on the
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
of today's society can accelerate the advancement of technology, human welfare and education,
therefore
, I
also
resonate with the idea of hiring younger
people
for the senior governmental positions. First and foremost, traditionally, the
parlements
Correct your spelling
parliament
and
government
buildings were occupied by mature
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
, bearing the responsibility for making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
radical decisions. During the
last
decade, many countries have
graviteted
Correct your spelling
gravitated
towards
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
appointing
people
with over 20
years
Change noun form
years'
show examples
experience
to key positions, to nominating much younger
people
with less
experience
as they are full of fresh and modern ideas which can flourish the countries in terms of renovation and efficiency. To illustrate,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Norway has one of the youngest parliament
members
starting from
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
2000s. Consequentially, the
government
of Norway has accomplished many triumphs by increasing the gross product value, living standards, technology and human rights owing to the decisions given by these young parliament
members
.
Moreover
, young
government
officials have a better understanding of how to engage with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juveniles and they are more agile when it comes to
giving
Verb problem
making
show examples
pragmatic decisions amid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult times. By hiring young and talented professionals in
government
bodies, the gap between the competency of professionals from private sectors will be bridged, morphing
government
structures into
a powerful workhouses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a powerful workhouse
powerful workhouses
show examples
which
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
the strategic and
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
initiatives
such
as digitalization, AI and social media.
Furthermore
, young individuals are
closesly
Correct your spelling
closely
engaged with their social media where they can track
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current events to react instantaneously,
thus
, making themselves accessible
government
Change preposition
to government
show examples
representatives as opposed to the older generation whose
members
had isolated themselves from the public. In conclusion, despite some young professionals
might
Correct pronoun usage
who might
show examples
come short on the related
experience
and expertise, their unwavering
persistancy
Correct your spelling
persistency
persistence
coupled with
sheer
indefiguability
Correct your spelling
indefatigability
indefinability
makes them ideal candidates for the sustainability of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-structured, linked, and flow logically from one idea to the next. Strengthen the connections between main ideas and supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states both views and your own opinion. In the conclusion, summarize the discussion and restate your opinion. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and discourse markers to link ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task, including discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear personal opinion throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively and evenly throughout. Make sure each point is elaborated with sufficient detail and explanation.
task achievement
Incorporate a range of relevant, specific examples to support points. Avoid generalizations and unexplained assertions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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