IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programes
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It is argued that voluntary activities should be included in high school
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement. Voluntary services in high school have a positive impact
in
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on
show examples
students
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 in their social skills
as well as
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in
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on
show examples
 their personal improvement. On one hand, when a
student
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join
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joins
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 a voluntary program they will interact with other
students
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 who join the same activities. A
student
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 will get
a
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apply
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training there not only in
hardskill
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hard skill
hard skills
 but
also
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softskill
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soft skill
soft skills
. When
i
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I
show examples
 joined an unpaid
community
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service
Use synonyms
 years ago,
i
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I
show examples
got
Verb problem
developed
show examples
a
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apply
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communication
skill
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skills
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 learning which is very
helfull
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helpful
 in my social life as it helped raise my
confident
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confidence
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 when presenting or talking
one
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apply
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on one
Correct your spelling
one-on-one
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 with a person, or in front of spectators.
Students
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 can
also
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get
Verb problem
make
show examples
 new friends
in
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through
show examples
community
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 services
Furthermore
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, joining a voluntary program is good for a
student
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's emotional
inteligence
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intelligence
. My friend told
how
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me how
show examples
 joining
this
Linking Words
 program
rise
Verb problem
raised
show examples
 his awareness and he got some satisfaction because he helped people in need. A journal
i
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I
show examples
 read stated that when a
student
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 who joined an
upaid
Correct your spelling
unpaid
community
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service
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 was better in their ethic and
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
 compared to
students
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 who didn't.
This
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 happened to my nephew as he joined
an
Change the article
a
show examples
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 in our local church. He said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
since
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apply
show examples
joining
the
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apply
show examples
our local church
community
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,
it
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apply
show examples
raised his
emphaty
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empathy
. In conclusion, to improve their social and personal skills, for a high percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
, unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
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 should be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
mandatory in
high
Add an article
the high
show examples
 school curriculum.
Submitted by samtridortua on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of your essay includes clear paragraphing, with each paragraph having a central idea and supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion need to clearly present the main argument and effectively summarize the discussion. Both should be distinct and emphasise your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Avoid generalizations and strive to provide clear and precise illustrations from personal experiences or external references.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a clear opinion and thoroughly exploring the issues related to the question. Stick closely to the topic without including irrelevant information.
task achievement
Present ideas comprehensively while maintaining a logical flow. This means paragraphs should clearly connect to each other and ideas should be explained fully.
task achievement
Incorporate a range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes can be effective, but make sure they directly support your central thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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