The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In today digital's age. the influence of social networking
to
private relationships and public is a recurring argument. Change preposition
on
This
writer argues that the benefits of making new friends around the world and updating many news outweigh the drawbacks of potential social media
distraction.
The most advantageous factor of using social media
is that humans can have many new connections on the internet. In other words
, individuals can communicate with new people
and encounter new customs or languages that are necessary for future work or study. From prior knowledge, most citizens use social networking sites to keep in touch with their friends no matter how far away they are. Thus
using social media
is significant to improve relations.
The rapid spread of news must be considered. It must be recognised that on
the internet has a lot of information about a certain issue in the world, that Change preposition
apply
human
want to know. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
As a result
, people
will have more knowledge about social problems. Thereby, people
should be using the internet in order to update the latest news.
However
, some people
believe that social media
platform has the potential to be a drawback. They believe that many teenagers and adults will waste time by playing video games or spend too much screen time chatting and calling friends, which make
them feel isolated. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
This
may be true, but by
communicating and challenging them, will go a long way to encouraging them to try hard or to do something useful. Change preposition
apply
Consequently
, gaining new skills and improving their speaking make
them more confident.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of Change the verb form
makes
people
's distraction is outweighed by the opportunity to gain more skills and more confidence. Hence
, using social media
can be more beneficial for human's
relationships and societyChange noun form
human
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task achievement
The essay only partially meets the requirements of the task. While the question is addressed, it does so superficially and lacks depth in the arguments presented with insufficient development of ideas. Particular attention should be paid to fully responding to the task and providing balanced viewpoints before drawing a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The sequencing of information and ideas is adequate, but there are noticeable issues with the logical sequence and coherence, which impacts overall clarity. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly relevant to the topic sentence. Furthermore, the introduction and conclusion should be more effective in presenting topic background and summarizing the main points without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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