The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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this

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modern world,smoking is prohibited in some places.Many folks argue that the usage of smartphones is as antisocial as smoking.So,they urge the government to treat the usage of mobile

phones

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in the same way as smoking.I completely agree with

this

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notion and

this

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essay will try to explore the merits of banning mobile

phones

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in certain places.

To begin

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with,as smoking is prohibited in indoor crowded places as it can have a bad impact on

individuals'

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individual's

show examples

health,the

smart

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smartphones

show examples

phones

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notification sounds or usage may disturb the audience

while

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watching a stage role or movie at the cinema.To be more clear,

people

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usually are fully engaged in the story of actors and even minor sounds close to their ears might be considered as a factor for losing their concentration towards the science in terms of role-play on the stage.To cite an example,

last

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year my family and I went to the theatre, to watch the protagonist of the performance Narek Duryan role play and during the

perfonmence

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performance

, my mother and I got angry

due to

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the endless sounds of cell

phones

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Furthermore

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,another good reason for collecting mobile

phones

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is that society especially tourists when visiting historical and famous national galleries, often neglect the rule of not taking photos and doing the exact opposite.

Thus

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,not only do they interfere

visitors

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with visitors

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who admire the beauty by taking photos with flash,but

also

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tourists steal the canvas by doing exact copyrights.

For instance

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,when I was in the England national galleries particularly foreigners were breaking the law by taking lots of pictures.

Hence

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,they spoil the great atmosphere and disturb

people

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as well. In a nutshell,it is apt

to conclude

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that cell

phones

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might be regarded as antisocial like smoking as their presence may affect

people

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's attention and mood to name just a few.Owing to

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reason,mobile

phones

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banning

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banned

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in certain areas can really have a positive influence on

people

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as well as

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on museums,

thethers

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others

and so on.

Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on Sun Jan 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt directly, setting the stage for subsequent paragraphs. In this essay, while you have introduced the topic, the thesis statement could be more explicitly defined to directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement.

task achievement

Offer a more balanced discussion or consider counter-arguments to enhance the depth of analysis in your task response. While you've stated your agreement with the idea of banning mobile phones in certain places, considering opposing viewpoints could strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.

task achievement

Support your main points with a wider variety of examples and evidence. Your current examples are relevant, but additional support could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. While your essay has an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Aim for greater clarity and precision in your supporting paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Ensure that each idea directly supports your overall argument and ties back to the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence is clear and coherent. Aim to vary your sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and control.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

antisocial
social interactions
negative impacts
banning
regulated
completely banned
education
awareness campaigns
responsible
mobile phone use

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