The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In
this
modern world,smoking is prohibited in some places.Many folks argue that the usage of smartphones is as antisocial as smoking.So,they urge the government to treat the usage of mobile phones
in the same way as smoking.I completely agree with this
notion and this
essay will try to explore the merits of banning mobile phones
in certain places.
To begin
with,as smoking is prohibited in indoor crowded places as it can have a bad impact on individuals'
health,the Correct your spelling
individual's
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
phones
notification sounds or usage may disturb the audience while
watching a stage role or movie at the cinema.To be more clear,people
usually are fully engaged in the story of actors and even minor sounds close to their ears might be considered as a factor for losing their concentration towards the science in terms of role-play on the stage.To cite an example,last
year my family and I went to the theatre, to watch the protagonist of the performance Narek Duryan role play and during the perfonmence
, my mother and I got angry Correct your spelling
performance
due to
the endless sounds of cell phones
.Furthermore
,another good reason for collecting mobile phones
is that society especially tourists when visiting historical and famous national galleries, often neglect the rule of not taking photos and doing the exact opposite.Thus
,not only do they interfere visitors
who admire the beauty by taking photos with flash,but Change preposition
with visitors
also
tourists steal the canvas by doing exact copyrights.For instance
,when I was in the England national galleries particularly foreigners were breaking the law by taking lots of pictures.Hence
,they spoil the great atmosphere and disturb people
as well.
In a nutshell,it is apt to conclude
that cell phones
might be regarded as antisocial like smoking as their presence may affect people
's attention and mood to name just a few.Owing to this
reason,mobile phones
banning
in certain areas can really have a positive influence on Wrong verb form
banned
people
as well as
on museums,thethers
and so on.Correct your spelling
others
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt directly, setting the stage for subsequent paragraphs. In this essay, while you have introduced the topic, the thesis statement could be more explicitly defined to directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
task achievement
Offer a more balanced discussion or consider counter-arguments to enhance the depth of analysis in your task response. While you've stated your agreement with the idea of banning mobile phones in certain places, considering opposing viewpoints could strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
task achievement
Support your main points with a wider variety of examples and evidence. Your current examples are relevant, but additional support could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. While your essay has an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Aim for greater clarity and precision in your supporting paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Ensure that each idea directly supports your overall argument and ties back to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence is clear and coherent. Aim to vary your sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and control.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion