IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#risks
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Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can lead to fundamental variations in both professional and personal aspects of
life
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. As we know, there are vivid advantages to taking
risks
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, like achieving new opportunities and improving
life
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 levels,
otherwise
Linking Words
, there are irrefutable negative aspects, including isolation from society and financial bankruptcy.in total I think the advantages of taking
risks
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 outweigh the disadvantages. To
being
Verb problem
begin
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 with, individuals just by taking
risks
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 can make basic changes in their
life
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 situations get out from routine experience a new space, and Get to know new individuals.
As a result
Linking Words
, an intelligent person knows new relationships lead to achieving new opportunities and
extend
Wrong verb form
extending
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 their fields.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people
when
Correct word choice
who
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 abandon their employee
life
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 and begin
entrepreneur
Fix the agreement mistake
entrepreneurs
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 can make money more than used to, so when successes come they
come
Verb problem
have
show examples
 confidence in themselves. In essence, taking
risks
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 can be a catalyst for positive Chang and progress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, failure to take
risks
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 has emotional and economic consequences.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to a mental breakdown and
accordingly
Linking Words
, the person is isolated from society. It is a huge problem for individuals and society if the failed person stays in
this
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 situation and can not come back
such
Linking Words
 as mentally and economically, maybe it leads to criminals and next problems. In conclusion, taking
risks
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 can have
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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magnificent advantages which outweigh the disadvantages, like achieving new opportunities, success, and making money,
while
Linking Words
 it has disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as emotional consequences and financial bankruptcy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to know that, embrace
risks
Use synonyms
 Influence in both aspects of professional and personal lives.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas in each paragraph are logically ordered to enhance the overall argument of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay structure and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and restates your position on the topic clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure you develop each main point with specific details and examples to support your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced view of the topic and clearly presenting your position to ensure a well-developed response.
Task Achievement
Include specific, relevant examples to illustrate your points and ensure that the examples are fully explained and clearly connected to your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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