IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
Some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
,
in
Correct word choice
that in
show examples
Correct article usage
the oncoming
show examples
oncoming
Verb problem
coming
show examples
 years, everybody will tend to read what they want online
instead
 of
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 published newspapers or books and
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
. I must say, from my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
 and there is no chance for it
happen
Fix the infinitive
to happen
show examples
. Here are my reasons. First of all, I cannot deny
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 technology makes our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 easier and it is the main reason why so many people are inclined to use it as a news or
trainment
Correct your spelling
training
 tool. Of course, it is reasonable to use it.
On the other hand
, there are some old-fashioned people,
such
 as me, who
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
 to touch papers
while
 reading
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Although
 having plenty of benefits, the technology cannot replace
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
actual paper-based reading materials.
For instance
, even
all
Correct word choice
though all
show examples
 my friends have internet access,
noone
Correct your spelling
no one
 uses it in order to catch
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 or read any novel because of the passion of
feel
Change the verb form
feeling
show examples
 the material.
Moreover
, from my
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, reading online may lead to many medical problems in the future. To look at a device for a long time makes eyes tired and causes a great number of
defect
Fix the agreement mistake
defects
show examples
 of vision, meanwhile, it
also
 might lead
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 disorder of posture. It is the main reason for people who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 on
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
 during the day usually
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 to use
glassess
Correct your spelling
glasses
 and some of them are
also
 suffering from hernia.
For example
, being a postman, my mother works on
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
 to save the documents on the system and now, there is a hernia inception on her back.
To sum up
, as far as there are many
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 about
reading
Rephrase
how reading
show examples
 materials will
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
show examples
 with online reading, I am inclined to believe it will not be
such
 a changing.
Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear stance on the topic and sets the stage for the subsequent paragraphs. Work on creating a comprehensive introduction that establishes the scope of the discussion.
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with clarity and precision. Aim to provide a focused argument backed by specific examples or evidence to enhance the quality of your discussion.
Logical Structure
Pay attention to cohesive devices and transitions to ensure the seamless flow of ideas from one paragraph to another. This improves the reader's ability to follow the logic of your argument without disruption.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task with a fully developed position, and avoid repetition or overly generalized statements. Ensure that your position is consistent and well-articulated throughout the essay.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples should be clearly connected to your main points and serve to illustrate your perspective effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
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