Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
modern world, perspectives of
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
art
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are varied
Wrong verb form
vary
show examples
between
people
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
agree with the idea of
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
art
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others think it waste of
money
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I agree that
art
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deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
because is something very essential today.
Art
Use synonyms
become an important part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
our communities.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some
people
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argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should not support the
Use synonyms
artiest
Replace the word
artists
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money
Use synonyms
because they
considere
Correct your spelling
consider
considered
it
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
of
money
Use synonyms
. Spending
money
Use synonyms
on infrastructure or building new electrical is more necessary than
art
Use synonyms
because if we spent
much
Rephrase
too much
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
art
Use synonyms
, the primary
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
would not
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
enough
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
fool
Wrong verb form
foolish that
show examples
spending
money
Use synonyms
on something will not benefit the public at all. It is advisable to put our efforts and
money
Use synonyms
into more
nessessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
things in order to make the public's life better. Supporting artists
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money
Use synonyms
is more logical,
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
what some
people
Use synonyms
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
the
Use synonyms
artiest
Correct your spelling
artist
show examples
is costly, the profits made by
art
Use synonyms
are substantial. Take the painters and designers
for example
Linking Words
; a wide range of
people
Use synonyms
order from them pictures and potteries to design their houses. The equipment and tools at
art
Use synonyms
become more expensive and the artist could not buy these tools. So, if the government
wouldn't
Verb problem
doesn't
show examples
help them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
money
Use synonyms
, the
art
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
artiest
Correct article usage
the artiest
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
disappear in the future.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
support
Replace the word
supporting
show examples
Artiest
Use synonyms
is important for education at school
whereas
Linking Words
others think there are subjects which
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
necessary than
art
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I agree completely with
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
art
Use synonyms
. The reasons are that
besides
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
our life shiny and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
us feel positive and optimistic because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
is used today as a
messages
Correct the article-noun agreement
message
show examples
.
Submitted by juhinaalqartoubi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth and logical. Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing complex and clear main points throughout the essay. Avoid repeating ideas and make sure each paragraph expands on the central topic in a unique way.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are relevant to the topic and contribute to illustrating your perspective effectively. Avoid generic statements and strive for concrete evidence.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure to give a balanced perspective where required by the question. Offer a conclusion that encapsulates your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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