Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern world, perspectives of spent
Wrong verb form
spending
money
on art
are varied
between Wrong verb form
vary
people
. Some people
agree with the idea of spent
Wrong verb form
spending
money
on art
while
others think it waste of money
. In my opinion
I agree that Add a comma
opinion,
art
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
the
Correct article usage
apply
money
because is something very essential today.
Art
become an important part in
our communities. Change preposition
of
Nevertheless
, there are some people
argue
that Correct pronoun usage
who argue
government
should not support the Correct article usage
the government
artiest
Replace the word
artists
by
Change preposition
with
money
because they considere
it Correct your spelling
consider
considered
waste
of Add an article
a waste
money
. Spending money
on infrastructure or building new electrical is more necessary than art
because if we spent much
Rephrase
too much
of
Change preposition
apply
money
on art
, the primary things
would not Fix the agreement mistake
thing
be have
enough Change the verb form
have
money
. Therefore
, it is fool
spending Wrong verb form
foolish that
money
on something will not benefit the public at all. It is advisable to put our efforts and money
into more nessessary
things in order to make the public's life better.
Supporting artists Correct your spelling
necessary
by
Change preposition
with
money
is more logical, that
what some Correct word choice
than
people
thought
. Wrong verb form
think
Although
support
the Wrong verb form
supporting
artiest
is costly, the profits made by Correct your spelling
artist
art
are substantial. Take the painters and designers for example
; a wide range of people
order from them pictures and potteries to design their houses. The equipment and tools at art
become more expensive and the artist could not buy these tools. So, if the government wouldn't
help them Verb problem
doesn't
by
Change preposition
with
money
, the art
and artiest
Correct article usage
the artiest
would
disappear in the future.
Wrong verb form
will
Lastly
, support
Replace the word
supporting
Artiest
is important for education at school whereas
others think there are subjects which more
necessary than Add a missing verb
are more
art
.
In conclusion, I agree completely with spent
Wrong verb form
spending
money
on art
. The reasons are that besides
art
is
Correct your spelling
it
make
our life shiny and Wrong verb form
makes
make
us feel positive and optimistic because Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
is used today as a messages
.Correct the article-noun agreement
message
Submitted by juhinaalqartoubi
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth and logical. Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing complex and clear main points throughout the essay. Avoid repeating ideas and make sure each paragraph expands on the central topic in a unique way.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are relevant to the topic and contribute to illustrating your perspective effectively. Avoid generic statements and strive for concrete evidence.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure to give a balanced perspective where required by the question. Offer a conclusion that encapsulates your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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