IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for a manager in the local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this job Tell them when you are free to attend an interview

Dear Sir, I found your advertisement in the local newspaper and wanted to apply for the available position in your restaurant. I am currently working as a photographer for a local publishing company,
whereby
Use the right word
where
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,
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apply
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 my key responsibility is to manage the "Travel and Living" section.
Although
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 my profession leads me towards photography, my true passion has always been cooking. Most of my techniques are self-taught,
as well as
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,
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apply
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 learned from cooking guides by some famous authors, chefs and food critics. I sincerely hope that you will consider me for
this
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 position. I can drop by for an interview sometime next week. I do understand that taking time out of your busy schedule must be very difficult for you
,
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;
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therefore
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, I humbly suggest that we set out a meeting between the breakfast and the lunch service. Please feel free to reach out if you have any
further
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 questions. Yours faithfully, Fahad

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content
Tell more clear why you fit the job. Give one or two clear deeds from work in a kitchen or team work that show you can lead or help run a room. Also say a definite day and time you can come for an interview.
structure
Your essay has three parts. Keep one idea in each paragraph. Use simple links like 'first', 'next', 'but' to move ideas.
tone
You start with 'Dear Sir' and end with 'Yours faithfully'. This is fine. If you know the name, use it. Keep a formal and polite tone.
cohesion
Some lines mix two ideas in one paragraph. Break them into parts and keep a small idea each time.
tone
Keep a formal tone and check small words. It is good to say you are free for an interview, but use 'Could we meet' or 'I can come on [day]' rather than long phrases.
tone
Polite and proper closing
content
Shows a wish for interview
format
Uses a decent letter form
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