IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that detailed crime reports on newspapers and TV can have many disadvantages. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

Nowadays,
crime
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reports
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 are one of the most delectable sources of
entertaiment
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entertainment
. Gruesome details of many prosecuted cases are shown freely on popular newspapers, and open television channels without any prior warning.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 technology moving very ahead of time, even children as small as a
12 year old
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12-year-old
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 could
has
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have
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 access to these portfolios.
However
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, not all of
this
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 leads to a bad ending for an individual,
therefore
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 ahead
i
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I
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 will be discussing my views on
this
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.
Real- life
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Real-life
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crime
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reports
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 are basically swallowed down by many people around the world. It could
a
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be a
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12 year old
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12-year-old
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 or even a
55 year old
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55-year-old
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, there
is
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are
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 no age restrictions for newspapers
on
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in
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 which these are being published. Reading harsh details about criminal lives, and information about the case could
effect
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affect
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 a person mentally.
Furthermore
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, reading or watching them on
the
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apply
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television could lead to
mental-health
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mental health
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 problems like depression or anxiety. People who might have been through similar experiences to the
once
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ones
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 that they
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
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 or read, could have a comeback on past trauma. So, in many cases,
this
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 could cause suicide rates to go much higher indirectly.
On the other hand
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, even though, the disadvantages have a much higher effect on a
human-being
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beings
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, there
is
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are
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also
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 ways a person might have succeeded
taking
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in taking
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 a glimpse of these absolutely
heinious
Correct your spelling
heinous
reports
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.
Firstly
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, it might have enraged a huge fire of passion into the subject of criminology in a person
while
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 viewing various different aspects of criminal activities. So, diving deeper into that, a child or
an
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a
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 young adult might consider building a career to study
behaviour
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the behaviour
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 of a
crime
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 performer to reduce rates of murders in their country.
Overall
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, having a look over possible opinions about
crime
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reports
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, I am in strong agreement that reading these or viewing them on TV must have an age limit but coming to a conclusion that they don't have a good impact at all is wrong.

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Introduction
Make sure to provide a clear introduction that presents the topic of the essay and your stance on it. The introduction sets the stage for your argument and gives the reader context.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea, supported by further explanation, evidence, and examples.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your points and reiterates your stance on the issue. The conclusion should provide a sense of closure and finality to your argument.
Supporting Examples
Expand upon your main points by providing more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
Coherence
Work on creating a stronger link between ideas within and across paragraphs to aid coherence. Make use of transitional phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
Task Completion
Read your essay to check that it addresses the topic directly and that it covers all parts of the task. Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.
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