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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of books borrowed from four libraries in the mouths of June, July, August and September of

The line graph shows the number of books borrowed from four libraries in the mouths of June, July, August and September of
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
books
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 lent from four different libraries
such
Linking Words
 as
West
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Eaton
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,
Ryeslip
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,
Sutton
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Wood
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, and Church Mount during the period of June
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 September 2023.  In general,
West
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Eaton
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 and Church Mount have a stable increase in the period of June
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 September 2023.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Ryeslip
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's library has an opposite trend compared to
West
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Eaton
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 and Church Mount.
However
Linking Words
, there was a fluctuation line
displays
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
 in the graph for
Sutton
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Wood
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. As seen in the data provided, a
rose
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rise
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the amount of
books
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 lent from
West
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Eaton
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 (50),
Ryeslip
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 (50), and
Sutton
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Wood
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 (25)
in
Change preposition
from
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 the month of June until July 2023. The number of
books
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 lent from
Sutton
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Wood
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 dropped dramatically
in
Change preposition
from
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 July to August 2023 approximately from 275 to 100
books
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a significant amount (200) of
books
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 jumped in the period of August to September 2023
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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borrowed
Add a missing verb
was borrowed
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 from
Sutton
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Wood
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.
Further
Linking Words
, the number of
books
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 borrowed went up considerably in
Ryeslip
Use synonyms
's library from 300 to 160 during four periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, west, eaton, ryeslip, sutton, wood with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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