Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the topic.

Social
media
has been bringing numerous benefits to
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
life in recent years.
While
some
people
believe that
this
novelty leads to
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
time
for individuals, others advocate
people
may connect easily via social
media
.
This
essay will explain
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and support
idea
Add an article
the idea
show examples
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
connection amongst
people
may
support
Wrong verb form
be supported
show examples
by social
media
.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
of
Instagram
or Twitter has been seen as a
wasting
Replace the word
waste of
show examples
time
by some
people
. They believe that men and women are likely to kill their
time
by posting on
Instagram
or liking other one's photographs,
instead
of working or engaging in creative activities like reading, or painting. In their point of view, spending
time
online pages for sliding
timeline
Fix the agreement mistake
timelines
show examples
should be accepted as a harmful habit, which disturbs
poeple's
Correct your spelling
people's
creativity in their business and personal life.
For instance
, many surveys, which have been
carriying
Verb problem
carried out
show examples
in Turkey, have been indicating that the more
people
spend
time
on their
Instagram
, page, the more they become disturbed and unfocused.
On the other hand
, proponents of the use of social
media
believe that
people
may connect more effortlessly and more effectively by utilizing applications including
Instagram
, or Linkedin. To clarify, it is undeniable that
time
is accepted as the most valuable currency across the world.
Therefore
, employers are likely to spend less
time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meeting employees, so they prefer to check candidates' accounts by means of Linkedin, just in case they find their accounts appropriate for the company, they arrange a
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
meeting.
Furthermore
, employees may
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
various positions even in different countries via their LinkedIn accounts. In comparison with
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
a job online, traditional meetings may result in unexpected costs for applicants, including fare, and accommodation.
Finally
, I believe
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
may contact each other via
Instagram
or other social
media
applications better, compared to
call
Wrong verb form
calling
show examples
someone.
For instance
, Skype users are able to see their friends or relatives who live abroad, which is impossible with traditional phone calls, in
this
way their sense of missing may
alleviate
Wrong verb form
be alleviated
show examples
.
Moreover
, a good-designed
Linkedln
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
account may put the applicant one step ahead of others.
To conclude
,
while
some
people
tend to demonize social
media
, I, personally support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others, since social
media
provide numerous benefits, including connecting
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
other effortlessly, and saving
time
and
also
money,
while
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
a job.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Include a balanced discussion of both views, with a clear conclusion stating your own opinion. Make sure that your opinion is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Ensure relevance to the question prompt throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological addiction
  • mental health
  • curated images
  • self-esteem
  • instant communication
  • geographic location
  • information dissemination
  • professional networking
  • responsible use
  • negative consequences
  • time wastage
  • productivity
  • social comparison
  • social movements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: