There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, young individuals are subjected to immense pressure to excel in academic pursuits.

This

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prevailing situation prompted some advocates to propose the elimination of non-academic courses ,

such

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as physical education and culinary arts , from the curriculum, thereby allowing

students

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to focus more intently on

the

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apply

show examples

scholarly activities.I contend that

this

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perspective is fundamentally flawed, as non-academic

subjects

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play a crucial role in fostering well-rounded development and essential life

skills

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This

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essay will provide evidence to support my opinion.

Firstly

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, removing non-academic

subjects

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can severely hinder the holistic development of

students

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Subjects

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such

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as physical education foster not only physical fitness but

also

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vital life

skills

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like teamwork,discipline and resilience.

For instance

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, encouraging young people in physical sports can teach them how to work collaboratively towards common goals and how to manage both victory and defeat gracefully.

Additionally

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,overemphasis on academic

subjects

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can lead to detrimental mental health. The relentless pursuit of excellence in academics can exacerbate anxiety and depression among

students

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. An illustration of

this

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can be seen in the increasing reports of burnout among high school

students

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, who feel overwhelmed

due to

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the incessant demands of their academic syllabus.By maintaining a curriculum containing non-academic

subjects

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, schools can provide the

students

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with necessary respite from academic pressure

while

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simultaneously nurturing creativity and critical thinking

skills

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On the contrary

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, the proponents of removing non-academic

subjects

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argue that the competitive job market necessitates a stringent focus on academics.

However

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this

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argument overlooks the fact that most employers seek candidates who possess a diverse skill set rather than solely academic qualifications.Transferable

skills

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gained from non-academic

subjects

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such

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as leadership, adaptability, and emotional intelligence are increasingly valued in the workplace.

Thus

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, integrating these

subjects

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in the curriculum equips the

students

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to succeed not only in their academic endeavours but

also

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in their future professional lives . In conclusion,

while

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the pressure to achieve academically is indeed daunting for today's youths. The solution is not to diminish the importance of non-academic

subjects

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.Rather , a balance between both academic and non-academic disciplines is essential for fostering well-rounded individuals prepared to navigate a complex world.

alfred

Nov 22, 2025

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task

Make your reply more tight. Begin with your clear view in the first paragraph and keep each paragraph to one main idea with a strong link to what you just said.

coherence

Improve flow. Use clear sign words to move from one idea to the next, like therefore, however, for example, in addition.

grammar

Fix form. Shorten long sentences and check for small mistakes in spelling and space after commas.

examples

Add more strong, exact examples. Use real life or school scenes that show the point.

structure

Make the plan of your essay in your mind first. Use a clean order: intro, view, reason 1, reason 2, counter, conclusion.

content

Clear stance against the idea.

structure

Good opening that shows the topic.

content

Some strong ideas about the good side of non academic subjects.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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