Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies ar Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?
With the passage of time, the more the sport is considered
as
a Change preposition
apply
business
, the more companies participate in sporting events. In my opinion, the drawbacks of this
development far outweigh the benefits and I will discuss my reasons below.
To begin
with, it will be harmful for athletes. In fact, when it comes to the business
community, it is noticeable that the priority of the
almost all Correct article usage
apply
of
businessmen is making a profit. They are Change preposition
apply
also
in business
due to
boosting this
profit. As a result
, a sportsperson is under enormous pressure by
companies who are seeking to make an investment in sporting events. Change preposition
from
Then
, they ask athletes to do regular vigorous exercises which can be life threatening
and cause various psychological and physical health problems Add a hyphen
life-threatening
such
as heart stork.
In addition
, the mentioned development can have some other far-reaching consequences for moral values. In other words
, sport can not remain as an amusement in such
situation
, but rather it can be called a gamble in which just winning plays a significant role. It goes without saying that as long as a friendly rivalry Correct article usage
a situation
change
to the keen one, players start using Fix the agreement mistake
changes
performanceenhancing
drugs or do other immoral activities. Correct your spelling
performance-enhancing
performance enhancing
Thus
, the winner will not be the more skillful
or the hardworking one.
In conclusion, involving companies in Change the spelling
skilful
sport
and Fix the agreement mistake
sports
change
it to a Wrong verb form
changing
business
not only do
it Verb problem
makes
make
dangerous for athletes’ health, but Verb problem
apply
also
can destroy human moral values and above all
lead sportsperson
to do hazardous activities.Fix the agreement mistake
sportspersons
Submitted by Raeisinarges1995 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presented clear ideas, but the logical structure of your arguments can be significantly improved. Ensure the progression of your essay is logical, with each point clearly leading into the next. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to enhance the fluidity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which generally aligns with the topic in question. However, consider developing a stronger thesis statement and firmer concluding remarks to leave a more impactful impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
While the main points have some support, you could improve by including more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. Make sure that the examples are directly relevant and contribute to the overall argument you are presenting.
task achievement
Your response to the task is appropriate but could be more complete. Ensure that you fully explore the topic by discussing both sides of the argument, even if your opinion leans strongly towards one. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are clear but need to be further developed and made more comprehensive. Elaborate on your points by adding depth to your reasoning, which will enhance the strength of your argument and the overall credibility of your essay.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but lack specificity. Rather than providing generic statements, include detailed instances that substantiate your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and enable you to achieve a higher score.
