IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

#lives #people #effect #society #development
Advertisements
 have been part of our daily activities for a long period of time now. There are those who believe that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks and vice versa. I,
on the other hand
, believe that there is more harm than good that these
advertisements
 bring.
Due to
advertisements
, we are able to be updated about upgraded products and trends that will surely make our lives easier.
For instance
, high-end cell phones and devices have been flooding the market and have shown different upgraded specifications and functions. Through
advertisements
, we are
also
 being offered the best deals like huge discounts and markdowns on
once popular
Add a hyphen
once-popular
show examples
 products.
Advertisements
 have been constantly reminding us to check out the latest trends and upgrades.
Nonetheless
,
advertisements
 seem to have become more intrusive nowadays. The means resorted to catching the attention of consumers are barely filtered out already. On the internet,
for example
,
advertisements
 have been popping up more often that instantly distract the viewer from browsing the actual content he or she wishes to see. Another instance is paper flyers that have ended up being scattered anywhere in the streets and
thus
 become garbage polluting the surroundings. Every nook and cranny is now covered with sorts of
advertisements
 and has destroyed beautiful scenery. In conclusion,
advertisements
 can be helpful in keeping us up to date with the latest improvements that will make our lives easier.
However
,
due to
 unregulated postings,
advertisements
 may have become more of a nuisance and distraction.
Submitted by lwvnyn on

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Coherence Cohesion
You should ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. Your introduction is brief and does not fully set up the essay structure or clearly present the topic.
Task Response
Provide a balanced discussion that covers both views adequately before presenting your opinion. You tended to focus more on the negative aspects without fully exploring the positives.
Coherence Cohesion
Your essay requires a clearer logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Response
Develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Your examples should be relevant and support the points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advertising
  • Consumer spending
  • Informative
  • Economic growth
  • Free content
  • Media
  • Over-commercialization
  • Materialistic values
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Misleading information
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Artificial needs
  • Overspending
  • Regulations
  • Consumer education
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