IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots
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Nowadays, people have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of choices about
clothes
Use synonyms
, some of them buy lots of cheap
clothes
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, but some of them rather a few expensive
clothes
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. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 I would rather
lots
Add a missing verb
have lots
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 of
clothes
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 price. Because I will get more assortment and I can save money. Because it is not brand. As it is obvious, now in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world. You can find a
lot
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 of types of things
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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cost
Use synonyms
 or in
priceless
Correct article usage
a priceless
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 version. So if choose brands, you can get
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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clothes
Use synonyms
 without many assortments. And if you got minimum
clothes
Use synonyms
 you would not get
clothes
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 for parties or for home.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 if you choose a
lot
Use synonyms
 of stuff
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clothes
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. You can go
whatever
Correct your spelling
wherever
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 you want.
For example
Linking Words
, someone will invite you to
Correct article usage
a meeting
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meeting
Change the verb form
meet
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 and you need
suit
Add an article
a suit
the suit
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. No problem and you wear it. And people could not notice that it is low
cost
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. The second option that you get from buying
low
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
expensive garments. That you can save money from it. Because your 5
clothes
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 can
cost
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overall
Linking Words
 just 50$ but the brand will
cost
Use synonyms
 150$ and in
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
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 you can save 100$ and get more
clothes
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Gucci
clothes
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 more than 500$ but will be equal in quality
with
Change preposition
to
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 raiment which
cost
Use synonyms
 just 30$. So
Correct your spelling
that's
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 why I rather buy a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
low
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
cost
Use synonyms
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
 In conclusion, buying many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attire
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheap price
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 you more impact than buying brands. As all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
 and economising your cash.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates difficulty in maintaining coherence with frequent structural and grammatical errors. It's important to ensure sentences are complete and ideas logically sequenced.
task achievement
Your essay touches on the topic, but the arguments need to be more fully developed and directly addressed. Be clearer in presenting your opinion and ensure to extend and support each main idea.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
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