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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You have just finished your master’s degree and need to leave your current part-time job to search for full-time employment. Write a letter to your current employer. In your letter o● explain why you will not pursue a full-time job in his/her company o ● say why you’ve enjoyed working for him/her o ● tell him/her how much longer you will continue to work for him/her.

#master’s #job #search #employment #employer #o● #company #you’ve #work
Dear Mrs. Karen, I am writing to notify you that I have completed the course requirements for my master's degree. As
such
, I would be leaving for Toronto in search of a full-time job offer with a Canadian employer. One thing
that is
 fascinating about your firm is the prompt weekly salary payment, so April 30th, 2024, would be my
last
 day of work. In order to qualify for the Ontario PNP nomination, I need to secure a full-time employment offer with a Canadian firm with an annual income of CAD 100,000.
This
 is a
criteria
Change the noun form
criterion
show examples
 your firm does not meet. To be honest, I enjoyed the swift weekly payments of salary which helped me cater to my daily needs as an international student.
Moreover
, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in my assistant administrative officer role. As per the company's standard operating procedure, I have given my one-month resignation notice, and it will be effective on the
last
 day of April. I am available for training and handover of my duties to my replacement to ensure smooth transitioning. Thank you for
this
 career opportunity. Yours sincerely, Mbuba Ebere.
Submitted by Eby on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter has a clear structure, but to enhance coherence, you could benefit from more effective transitions between paragraphs. Consider using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to' when adding new information.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph contributes significantly to the aims of the letter. While you have addressed the required points, expanding on why you enjoyed working for your employer with specific examples could strengthen your response.
General
For a more natural and fluent tone, try varying your sentence structures. Integrating a mix of complex and compound sentences can make the writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • part-time employment
  • full-time employment
  • qualifications
  • master's degree
  • gratitude
  • valuable experience
  • professional courtesy
  • adequate notice
  • transition period
  • mentorship
  • company culture
  • teamwork
  • professional relationship
  • commitment
  • dedication
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