You have just finished your master’s degree and need to leave your current part-time job to search for full-time employment. Write a letter to your current employer. In your letter o● explain why you will not pursue a full-time job in his/her company o ● say why you’ve enjoyed working for him/her o ● tell him/her how much longer you will continue to work for him/her.

#master’s #job #search #employment #employer #o● #company #you’ve #work

Dear Mrs. Karen, I am writing to notify you that I have completed the course requirements for my master's degree. As

such

, I would be leaving for Toronto in search of a full-time job offer with a Canadian employer. One thing

that is

fascinating about your firm is the prompt weekly salary payment, so April 30th, 2024, would be my

last

day of work. In order to qualify for the Ontario PNP nomination, I need to secure a full-time employment offer with a Canadian firm with an annual income of CAD 100,000.

This

is a

criteria

Change the noun form

criterion

show examples

your firm does not meet. To be honest, I enjoyed the swift weekly payments of salary which helped me cater to my daily needs as an international student.

Moreover

, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in my assistant administrative officer role. As per the company's standard operating procedure, I have given my one-month resignation notice, and it will be effective on the

last

day of April. I am available for training and handover of my duties to my replacement to ensure smooth transitioning. Thank you for

this

career opportunity. Yours sincerely, Mbuba Ebere.

Submitted by Eby on Thu Mar 21 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your letter has a clear structure, but to enhance coherence, you could benefit from more effective transitions between paragraphs. Consider using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to' when adding new information.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph contributes significantly to the aims of the letter. While you have addressed the required points, expanding on why you enjoyed working for your employer with specific examples could strengthen your response.

General

For a more natural and fluent tone, try varying your sentence structures. Integrating a mix of complex and compound sentences can make the writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

189 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

part-time employment
full-time employment
qualifications
master's degree
gratitude
valuable experience
professional courtesy
adequate notice
transition period
mentorship
company culture
teamwork
professional relationship
commitment
dedication

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays many students choose to study abroad at university level. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)