In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?
Today, many
people
throughout the world prefer to wear western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
compared to their country's traditional clothing. Some people
find it more comfortable to wear suits and jeans, and others just merely want to follow the current trend. This
essay believes that this
is a negative development because countries could lose connection with their own culture and traditions
.
Most people
find modern clothing as
more comfortable than traditional Change preposition
apply
clothes
. Traditional clothing usually include
skirts, dresses, and other outfits that use uncomfortable fabric. Western Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
clothes
, such
as hoodies and sweatpants, are typically simpler and easier to wear than most cultural clothing. For example
, in Indonesia, when people
go to concerts, they would
find it more convenient to wear Verb problem
apply
clothes
and jeans rather than 'Kebaya' which is the traditional dress. In addition
, people
are easily driven by the current trends. The most trending outfits today, especially for young people
, are dictated by the west
. Capitalize word
West
As a result
, western clothing becomes more common to wear that
traditional Correct word choice
than
clothes
.
Despite the on-going
trend and convenience of Correct your spelling
ongoing
modren
clothing, Correct your spelling
modern
this
could threaten the survival of our culltures
and Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
traditions
. Traditional clothing plays an important role in the preservance
of cultures. If Correct your spelling
preservation
people
shift and lean towards modren
clothing, they could lose connection and interest Correct your spelling
modern
with
the place that they come from. Many youth and children who have left their home country Change preposition
in
has
lost pride in their own country's culture and Change the verb form
have
traditions
. They are embarrassed to show people
where they are originally from.
In conclusion, people
worldwide has
shifted towards Change the verb form
have
waeing
modern and Correct your spelling
wanting
waiting
wearing
western
clothing Capitalize word
Western
for
their daily Change preposition
in
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
is mostly because people
are keen to following
the current trend that Change the form of the verb
follow
prioritize
comfort and convenience. Change the verb form
prioritizes
However
, this
could threaten the survival of incorporating traditions
and cultures to
our Change preposition
into
day to day
activities.Add a hyphen
day-to-day
Submitted by fajar.triandono on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Extend and develop main points more fully with detailed and relevant examples. Ensure paragraphs are well-developed and ideas do not feel repetitive or superficial.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Provide a complete answer to the question with a clear position throughout the response. Avoid contradictions and ensure your opinion is consistent with the arguments provided.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your arguments by including specific examples that are relevant to the topic. Avoid general statements and ensure your examples illustrate the point you are making clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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