Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#species #animals #world #verge #extinction #say #countries #individuals #beings #viewpoints

Our planet is facing a major environmental crisis. The consequences are manifold and impact both animals and humans alike. In the wake of

such

a scenario, some naturalists profess that authorities should focus on conserving

wildlife

while

others believe that the problems of mankind should be prioritised. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viewpoints and try to reach a conclusion.

Due to

incessant deforestation, mindless hunting and destruction of natural

habitat

Fix the agreement mistake

habitats

show examples

, many species are on the verge of extinction. Government agencies, in partnership with animal welfare groups, are working towards saving the endangered animals. Different animal species have a crucial role to play in the ecosystem.

Therefore

, to maintain the ecological balance, it is mankind's prime responsibility to conserve and protect

wildlife

On the other hand

, a section of people advocate that human beings are grappling with major issues,

such

as poverty, unemployment and homelessness and

thus

, governments should give precedence to their needs.

Additionally

, they feel that funds should be allocated for alleviating the lot of the impoverished rather than being wasted on

wildlife

conservation. In conclusion, I would like to say that a holistic approach is required wherein both the problems of

wildlife

and mankind are given equal importance. Since man's excessive greed and desire for progress are the major causes of ecological imbalance, it is our duty to ensure that animals

thrives

Change the verb form

thrive

show examples

in their natural environment.

Also

, we cannot ignore the dismal living conditions of those occupying the lowest rungs of the social ladder and policies directed towards ensuring their

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

should be implemented without delay.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Mon Jan 15 2024

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task achievement

The essay somewhat adequately addresses the requirements of the task, but the argument and position could be clearer. Ensure that each viewpoint discussed is given a thorough analysis and that your own opinion is stated clearly, with a justification that supports it solidly.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure, but you can improve coherence by ensuring clearer connections between ideas. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better signal the relationship between different points, and ensure that the paragraph structure consistently supports the development of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

verge of extinction
endangered species
ecological importance
biodiversity
ethical duty
ecosystems
medical and scientific research
ecotourism
limited availability of resources
socioeconomic issues
sustainable development
conservation efforts
preserve biodiversity

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