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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in london and sydney during the same weekend in december 2018.

The table give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in london and sydney during the same weekend in december 2018.
#information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december
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The table chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the information
of
Change preposition
on
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temperature
Use synonyms
 and time of daytime in London and Sydney
the
Change preposition
at the
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 same weekend in December 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
apply
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 the table
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that London has
flucuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 maximum
temperature
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.Including minimum
temperature
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sydney has
uptrend
Correct article usage
an uptrend
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 both of maximum and minimum. From London depict that information started from
Change the capitalization
Friday
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friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
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 28th sunrise at 08:05 and sunset
15
Change preposition
at 15
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:57 The maximum
temperature
Use synonyms
 was 9
celcius
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 and minimum
temperature
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 was 4
celcius
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 in the next following day the maximum
temperature
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 significantly incresed to 13
celcius
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 minimum
temperature
Use synonyms
 reduced to 3
celcius
Use synonyms
However
Linking Words
, in sunday 30th the maximum
temperature
Use synonyms
 fell down to 10
celcius
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 but incontrast the minimum
temperature
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 moderately rise to 5
celcius
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
,maximum
temperature
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 from Sydney started from 26
celcius
Use synonyms
 at sunrise time 05:45 and sunset time 20:06 the maximum
temperature
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 has slightly up to 28
celcius
Use synonyms
 in Saturday 29th. After that in sunday 30th maximum
temperature
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 rise to 31
celcius
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 minimum
temperature
Use synonyms
 started from 17
celcius
Use synonyms
 and moderately rise to 18
celcius
Use synonyms
 in 29th in the next following day up to 19
celcius
Use synonyms
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, celcius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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