IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in london and sydney during the same weekend in december 2018.

The table give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in london and sydney during the same weekend in december 2018.
#information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december
The table chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
temperature
 and time of daytime in London and Sydney
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same weekend in December 2018.
Overall
,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the table
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that London has
flucuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 maximum
temperature
.Including minimum
temperature
.
In contrast
, Sydney has
uptrend
Correct article usage
an uptrend
show examples
 both of maximum and minimum. From London depict that information started from
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
 28th sunrise at 08:05 and sunset
15
Change preposition
at 15
show examples
:57 The maximum
temperature
 was 9
celcius
 and minimum
temperature
 was 4
celcius
 in the next following day the maximum
temperature
 significantly incresed to 13
celcius
.
While
 minimum
temperature
 reduced to 3
celcius
However
, in sunday 30th the maximum
temperature
 fell down to 10
celcius
 but incontrast the minimum
temperature
 moderately rise to 5
celcius
On the other hand
,maximum
temperature
 from Sydney started from 26
celcius
 at sunrise time 05:45 and sunset time 20:06 the maximum
temperature
 has slightly up to 28
celcius
 in Saturday 29th. After that in sunday 30th maximum
temperature
 rise to 31
celcius
.
In addition
 minimum
temperature
 started from 17
celcius
 and moderately rise to 18
celcius
 in 29th in the next following day up to 19
celcius
Submitted by kungslowjam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, celcius with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: