In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Many
countries
require their citizens to vaccinate
. Wrong verb form
be vaccinated
This
is useful for preventing the spread
of disease
. I agree with the obligation to vaccinate,
because it is very good for preventing the Remove the comma
apply
spread
of disease
. From the past until now, vaccination
has always been an option to prevent the spread
of disease
, and this
has proven to be effective in reducing the rate of spread
and the number of patients suffering from the disease
.
Recently, Covid-19 vaccination
was campaigned for and made mandatory for all citizens in many countries
, because the virus has caused a very high death
rate. and when this
vaccination
was realized and made mandatory for all citizens in many countries
, it was quite effective in overcoming the spread
and number of patients suffering from this
disease
. In fact, this
also
reduces the death
rate which was previously high.
As time progresses, I am sure there will be more and more new types of viruses and diseases that will infect the human body, even causing death
. Therefore
, mandatory vaccination
is very important to prevent the spread
of disease
and high death
rates. Even though I know that every vaccine drug has certain side effects, I think the benefits are more than the side effects.
In conclusion, I agree with the existence of mandatory vaccination
in many countries
, because this
is very effective in reducing disease
prevention and the risk of death
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the essay's coherence, ensure that ideas are organized logically with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Establish a stronger connection between sentences and paragraphs by using a variety of cohesive devices.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity. Aim to provide a more explicit thesis statement in your introduction and a summary that encapsulates all your points in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and explanations to demonstrate understanding and provide a more persuasive argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task more completely by discussing both sides of the argument and showing clear personal response. It's important to demonstrate a full and rounded understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Expand on the reasons why mandatory vaccination could be considered a positive or negative development. Use more detailed reasoning to enhance clarity and insight.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples that are directly linked to your argument about why mandatory vaccinations are a positive development. Your essay lacks specific evidence that could strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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